Twice The Trouble

Chapter 19: Give Up, Liam

Sophia

The following Sunday, I decided to make apple pie, and Stacy helped me make it.

"Who's this for, exactly?" My twin asked.

"For Liam," I answered.

When the freshly baked pie had cooled, I placed it in a nice pie box and tied a white ribbon around it. Then I hailed a tricycle and gave him Liam's home address, which was one ride away.

I know a broken heart could not be mended by pie, but hopefully, it would be able to mend--at least somehow--a broken friendship.

When I got to his house--err-his mansion, I paid the driver, stepped into the sunlight, and heaved in a deep breath. Then I walked up to the front gate while carrying the box and pressed the buzzer.

I hoped my ensemble was presentable but not in a way that would make him or his parents think that I was dressing up for him. I wore a simple tangerine blouse and faded jeans and sneakers while my wavy brown hair was pulled back in a high ponytail.

"Hello?" A pleasant female voice came through the intercom.

"H-Hi. G-good afternoon, Mrs. Garcia--"

"Sophia! Is that you, dear? Come in! Come in!" Her voice turned higher and livelier.

The gate swung open, and I walked through. Just when I was about to reach their porch steps, the door burst open and out came an annoyed-looking blond teen in a plain tee and pants.

Liam, the boy who was calm and goofy and cheerful and sweet,was not here.

The Liam in front of me was hostile, with cold eyes, his mouth in a straight line, and his dark blond hair was disheveled.

He looked at me, and I was startled. His gaze was so empty. So void of emotion.

"Let's go?"

I nodded and followed him until we were out of the gates. He really had changed since yesterday. Or maybe he'd been at 0-59 for years,and I made him reach his 60 in one shove.

Liam combed his blond hair with his fingers and shot me a terse look. "Why did you come over today?" he asked me.

I offered him the box. "I made you a pie."

His amber eyes went big, and he hesitantly took the present from my hands.

"You.. made one for me?" He inquired wearily.

"Of course," I replied with a smile.

His mouth twitched, but it remained a straight line as he said: "Thanks."

We continued to walk alongside each other until we reached a bench under a lamppost.

"Li," I called after we sat down. "About what happened yesterday. I'm--"

"I'm sorry."

We both stiffened in our seats. He turned to me and I saw a face steeped in a mixture of helplessness,annoyance,and hurt. He kept on: "I'm sorry for the way I behaved last time. I'm sorry for raising my voice, and I'm sorry for putting you in that position. I was blinded by my selfishness and my fear of losing you."

"Liam.."

He clenched his fists on his lap. "I thought I'd become mature, but it turns out I was just flattering myself. I'm still an immature brat who always gets what he wants."

"I was at fault, too," I told him. "I should have been honest with you from the start."

"You're afraid of hurting the feelings of others. That's why you weren't able to tell me sooner."

He released a weighty sigh and scratched the back of his neck. "I want to tell you to stop being nice to me. If you are, I'll get the wrong idea and start to make things up in my mind about us. But I know you'll just ignore my favor. You've always been nice. It's something I've always liked about you."

I stared at him for what felt like forever. He fixed his eyes on his lap, fiddling with his hands.

"Why.. did you reject me?" he asked. "Is there a problem with me that I'm not aware of?"

"Liam.."

He brought his gaze to mine. "It's still Dale, isn't it?"

My heart constricted at the name. "Li, you promised never to speak of him."

A smile grazed his lips. But it was a smile devoid of humor.

"You still love him, don't you? Your feelings for him never disappeared."

"Liam, stop."

"You put him on this fucking pedestal in junior year. You looked up to him."

"Liam!"

"You almost lost your spot as valedictorian because of him. It was always him."

"Liam, I said stop it!" My voice trembled.

"He was your first love. First heartbreak.. You nearly destroyed yourself over him."

I buried my face in my hands before the tears spilled on my palms and dripped between my fingers. I was shaking uncontrollably, and my breathing came out in short, high-pitched gasps.

"How can I compete with a guy like that?" He paused. "You were ready to sacrifice so much for him until nothing was left for you. Why can't you see I love you more than he never did?"

My hand moved on its own accord as it flew across his left cheek, slapping him so hard his head snapped to one side, a red impression growing on the part of his face I had hit.

"He loved me, okay? Dale. loved. me," I said through gritted teeth.

"You vowed never to utter his name ever again," Liam told me.

"You broke your promise first," I accused him.

"It's all just broken promises when it comes to you, isn't it?"

I got up from the bench as though it were on fire.

"If you still want to be my friend, fine," I snapped. "It's your choice whether you still want to live like a masochist," I went on.

I turned my back on him and stomped away, but his voice called from behind.

"There was never a chance for me to be your boyfriend, was there?"

My shoulders sagged. I spun around to look at him,but I stood rooted to my spot.

"Liam, I'm sorry. You're my friend. Best guy friend. You know everything about me. My likes, my dislikes, my fears, the shows I love, the shows I hate, my favorite movies, my favorite foods and music, and my food allergies. You're kind and smart and loving, but I can never reciprocate your feelings the way you want me to.It's not you. It's me," I said and turned around, leaving him alone before I heard his heart-wrenching sobs, but I didn't stop walking away.

Away from the one that could have been.