Chapter 101: Hope vs. Fear

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Stacy

Night fell like a black curtain on Christmas Eve.

Almost everyone we knew was at the hospital, waiting, praying, and hoping for my sister's good health.

Mama May, Papa Ben, Ate Jolene, Bro Mack, Bro Benny, Bro Allan, Ate Jasmine, Liam, Cole, Emily..

..Spencer, Matthew, Dale, Miles, Dylan, Selena, even Alison was here. What the hell?

I'm not even going to ask why there were a large group of professors from our university waiting outside the OR and the hospital cafeteria. Sophia was well-liked by her mentors and teachers. I'm going to pretend I didn't see her dean, Sir Archie Cortes, walking out of the elevator with his 21-year-old niece, Nerissa Cortes Brighton. Did she fly all the way from North Carolina for this? How did she--oh forget it.

The only possibility of my twin's operation being surmised must be from one of the random customers at the restaurant. Someone had taken pics or a video of her fainting spell and posted it online under the caption FAMOUS AUTHOR S. GREEN COLLAPSES AT THE MALL.

Assholes.

Hence, the massive sea of strangers I deemed as Sophia's fan club. There must be a hundred of them, all dressed in a green article of clothing, in respect to her author's pseudonym S. GREEN.

Bryce stood a couple of feet away from me while I sat on a metal bench, my head bowed low.  "How are you feeling?"

I massaged my temples in a circular motion. "I need an aspirin."

Sophia

I stretched my arms and legs after I put on the powder blue operating gown.

No eyeglasses tonight. I was required to have a bare face and wear my long brown hair down. My feet were bare, the white tiles felt cold against the soles of my naked feet.

A terse search on Google informed me that preparation for surgery, administration of anesthesia, and preparation of transfer to the Cardio-Thoracic Intensive Care Unit (C.T.I.C.U) extending the time in the operating room to four to six hours. My operation would begin at 2:00pm.

Which is in exactly twenty minutes.

Cardiac surgery may take as short as three hours, but in my case, heart transplantation will range from ten hours or more than that.

*Knock Knock*

"Miss Sophia, are you all ready?" a female nurse called from outside my dressing room.

I twisted open the doorknob and was welcomed by a redhead's smiling face. "I'm ready." No, I'm not. I'm petrified beyond belief.

The dutiful nurse helped me get on the mobile operating table. I lay on my back and was soothingly told to relax. I knew something bad might occur if I stayed nervous during the surgical procedure.

"What makes you happy, Miss Sophia?" The nurse asked as she wheeled me into the hallway.

"Books. My sister. Movies. Anime. Food," I answered, watching the ceiling roll past my vision.

"That's good." The nurse smiled. "Just focus on those until you get sleepy, okay?"

"Okay." I was too embarrassed to mention Lucas.

Stacy

When I spotted the female nurse about to wheel Sophia into the Operating Room, I jumped up from the bench and said: "WAIT."

I hurried over to my twin lying on a portable table, then I held her hand, tenderly squeezing it. "You can do this, Sop," I told her, keeping my tears and fears at bay.

She smiled up at me, her brown eyes glinting with tears. She squeezed my hand back. "Laying down in one position for several hours?" She chuckled. "I think I'll manage, Ace."

I deftly took out my white phone and captured a picture of us. "I'll send you a copy once you're done!" I called out to my twin as the nurse ushered her into the OR.

When I spun around to isolate myself somewhere, I nearly bumped into Bryce. "Stacy.."

"I need to be alone," I said, handing him my phone. "Go to my recording files. Lucas needs to hear something important there. I'll be in the chapel. If you're going to follow me, don't sit beside me."

Lucas

I stood in front of the Operating Room's locked white door.

Two hours passed. Three more hours passed. Another two hours passed. I fumbled my hand inside my pocket, sliding out my black phone. Time check: 9:05 pm.

Sophia's heart transplant would be done at six in the morning. I still have six hours to wait.

"You can't stand there like a moron forever, you know."

I turned.

"Sit down, you buffoon," said my brother, who sank down on the metal bench next to the door.

"Did you come here just to egg me with insults?" I asked before I plopped down beside him.

"I don't pick the place, I just do my thing." My twin handed me a white device.

A crease formed between my brows. "What's this?"

"It's a cellphone."

"You have five seconds before I lose my cool," I warned my 18-year-old sibling.

Bryce gave a heavy sigh, smoothing his brown hair from his forehead. "Press Play."

I did as he said.

"Do you ever plan on being with Lucas?" The first voice was Stacy.

Second was Sophia. "I don't know, Ace. I really, really like him. To be honest.." She paused. "..I'm in love with him, and I think I love him already, but what's the use of telling him all these when I might not get a new heart?"

"Let's say you do get that operation." Another pause. "Would you be willing to pursue a relationship with Lucas?"

"Yes. Maybe. I want to be with him so badly, Ace," Sophia admitted. "He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes me better, and when he's there, just smiling at me, he makes me feel complete."

*Crackle* End of recording.

"Why do people keep giving me recordings?"

Bryce retrieved the phone from me after I asked that question. "It gives you hope, doesn't it?"

I didn't answer.

"There's this part of you that wants to give up." My brother stared at me. "Hearing her voice, hearing her talk like that.. it makes you second-guess your hesitation. I'm right, aren't I?"

In an instant, memories I shared with Sophia flooded my brain, like pictures running inside my head: Meeting her for the first time in the school corridor.. sharing lunch with her.. seeing her laugh in the bakery.. hanging out with her when she's typing up an article for the university magazine in the newspaper office.. admiring her from afar in the library.. running into her at the beach.. reading her texts at midnight.. teasing her at the marriage booth.. discovering that she was, in fact, the famous writer, S. Green.. dancing with her after school hours..

Falling deeply in love with her in a matter of months.

My gaze flew on the white door of the OR. "Yeah," I replied. "It does."

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