Twice The Trouble

Chapter 30: Love is Fire

Stacy

Tyler handed me a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.

He obviously prepared for this afternoon because he wore a red polo shirt and black, immaculate slacks.

When I met his hopeful gaze, he spoke. "Stacy, go out with me. I've liked you since the first time I saw you during freshman orientation. I've wanted to tell you this for weeks, but I was too nervous. I really like you, Stacy."

I cringed at every word he uttered, knowing it was just his way of making me fall for him. All he had to do was make a cheesy speech, but of course his dialogue was cliched and worn out. Boys and their words were as deceiving as sugar and salt. They looked so alike, no one could differentiate the two anymore. You think it will taste sweet, but it's salty after all.

And another thing: It was so visible that his speech was rehearsed. The guys I had dated all sounded and looked sincere, but I still ended up getting hurt because none of what they said was real. I was already traumatized by those who looked sincere,what more if they were insincere?

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "You must be kidding."

He looked at me with pleading eyes. "I'm not, Stacy. I finally worked up the courage to confess to you. You don't know how happy and anxious I am right now."

I did. It was obvious from his gaze and movements that he was nervous. I should be sympathetic, but instead, I didn't feel any remorse. If I know, he was just afraid of rejection because it would stomp down on his ego.

"You're the only one who has made me feel like this before. Please go out with me," he added.

"If you really had liked me since last month, you should have known how I despised being in a relationship." I would rather become a single old lady than settle for less than I deserved.

 "You should have known that I don't date and do flings. Don't tell me you're going to wait for me until I'm finally ready,because you don't have to--And I don't want you to."

I smiled coldly at him, knowing he wouldn't even wait for me. "And just so you know, I won't ever be ready. Not again."

"Wow." He dropped the bouquet and box of sweets, both falling to the tiled floor. He bowed his head. He must have been taken aback by my straightforwardness. He should be thankful I didn't give him false hopes, but I was luckier because I didn't give him the power to trick me.

"I'll only say this once, so listen carefully, alright? Tyler, you don't have a chance with me. You should have known from the start that I don't entertain confessions. I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm really, really busy right now. Now if you still have a shrivel of dignity left, please, for both our sakes, do not follow me."

Guys were all the same. Sweet at first, but when they get what they want, they would eventually get sick of you and leave you.

I walked away from Tyler, whom I met through Selena. He was an engineering student and former classmate of my friend.

Contrary to her brooding demeanor, Selena Castro was a hopeless romantic who believed in "forever." And her Achilles Heel was that she couldn't say no to anyone. Whenever guys would ask for my contact details, she automatically surrendered it to them. This was why I owned a second phone whose texts and calls I ignore. Selene knew what happened to me two years ago, but she still wanted me to believe in love.

To be completely honest, I saw my old self in her. She still dated, but she was quite fussy over choosing a romantic partner, so like myself, she was single and constantly hit on by guys.

"You shot him down, didn't you?" Selena said by way of greeting. We were both in our school uniforms since it was only 4:30pm. I had agreed to meet up with her at the univ cafeteria.

I sat on the plastic chair opposite her, then, after we ordered drinks, I turned to face her.

"Of course I did," I replied nonchalantly, then took a brief sip of my red iced tea.

Selena shook her head, making her wavy black hair sway. She frowned at me and said: "Ace, why don't you let yourself fall in love again? Can you stop being so hard on yourself? It'd be such a waste for someone as smart and pretty as you to quit on love."

I shrugged. "I don't trust men. They change hearts too easily. They find someone prettier than you, then they dump you. They're easily tempted, and even though you're not bothering them, when they spot your weakness, they'll abuse it. They're either jerks or womanizers--or worse, they can be both."

"I hate seeing you like this. You're giving up on love, Ace."

"I've reached my limits. I've had enough," I told Selena. "You know what's wrong with love?"

All of it. Love would always come with pain. It would bring depression and anxiety. Love wouldn't complete you--it would destroy you. It had ruined me before, so I wouldn't let it ruin me again.

"What?" My friend asked, twirling her straw in her glass of juice.

"When you love, you become weak and fragile. You become too vulnerable. And when they leave you on your own, that's when you realize that you ended up with no love for yourself. You give everything until you end up with nothing."

I've gone through so many heartbreaks, the sound of emotional pain was like a broken record playing inside my cactus heart. The same damaged song had been playing for years.

"You're too bitter, Ace." It felt like I just took away the slightest bit of hope she had for me.

"It's love that keeps us going," she told me firmly. The way she looked at me, it was full of pity, and I didn't want that. I was sick of it. "And I know that behind your facade is a woman still full of hope, love, and bravery. Only cowards escape from love, and I know you're not one of them. Don't be, Ace."

What facade? I stopped giving a damn, but that didn't mean I was pretending. It wasn't a facade; it was the best version of me by far.

She continued explaining why I shouldn't lose faith in love. "Ace, my grandmother often told me,'it is in our nature to fall in love. 'Yes,you will get hurt. It can't be evaded. But you will learn to love again. I believe you will. It's inevitable. No matter how much you run from it, it will come to you."

"Don't worry about me, Lena." I smiled at her. "But since we're talking about human nature.. how about you? If you know that the fire is hot and you'll get burned, would you still touch it?"

Selena hesitated for a bit before she answered: "No."