Unexpected - Park Jimin

Chapter 27: First TV appearance

Tapping your foot nervously, you looked around you, trying to find something to focus on so you'd calm down. You'd perform for the first time in only a few minutes and the pressure was slowly getting to you, making you nervously step from one foot to the other, a forced smile on your lips. BigHit had already released one of your songs to create some buzz around your debut and promote your future album. And guess which song they had picked? 

Yeah. You probably guessed it right. 

Your and Jimin's song. 

No shit. 

Destiny just loved to mess with you. 

So, in exactly 15 minutes, you'd have to perform a love song with the boy you still had feelings for but who didn't want anything to do with you anymore. You knew exactly that it would be hard to act according to the song, displaying your true emotions while having to act like they were fake. Hopefully, Jimin would be professional enough to leave his rather harsh feelings aside. 

"Hey, don't be nervous," Taehyung murmured next to you and intertwined his fingers with yours. He squeezed your hand and looked at you encouragingly, trying as sweet as he was to calm you down. "You got this." You nodded in acknowledgment but still couldn't stop your body from shaking. It didn't help you either that you could see Jimin talking to a beautiful brunette backstage. Your heart shrunk in your chest and you looked away, trying to spare yourself from the painful sight. Just because he didn't want anything serious anymore, didn't mean he wouldn't have his fun with girls. That's what he did before, didn't he? 

STOP IT. 

STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. FOCUS. 

Your gaze turned hard as the toxic thoughts invaded your mind, as much as you tried you just couldn't hide your gosh darn jealousy. Yoongi walked up to you and positioned himself in your direct line of sight, hiding Jimin and the girl behind him. 

"Jealous?" he cocked one of his brows, making you clench your teeth. Yoongi's perceptiveness never disappointed. You nodded defeatedly, he would know anyway, there was no point in denying it. "I know I know. I shouldn't," you muttered under your breath, barely keeping yourself from craning your neck to set your sight back on Jimin. 

"Damn right you shouldn't be jealous," Taehyung complained and looked at you sternly. His hands cupped your face and he looked you right in the eyes, determination gleaming in his normally soft brown orbs. "You are amazing and you look like a freaking goddess. It's his loss. There'll be thousands of men drooling over you when they'll see you perform." You chuckled softly, nodding slowly, he was way too adorable. "So lift this chin up high and show the world that you are proud." You laughed and shook Taehyung's hands away. "Thank you Taehyung. That's really sweet of you." 

Yoongi rolled his eyes but grinned nevertheless, "Aish, you kids." He turned towards one of the staff members, who announced that only 5 more minutes were left until you'd have to perform. 

You became nervous again and Yoongi noticed it immediately. "Okay. So breath in breath out, check your mic one last time and focus." He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes when he saw your stressed eyes darting from one corner of the room to the next. His look was serious and resolute. "You will rock this. Just FOCUS." 

Acting on instinct, you grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them hard, releasing at least some of your stress with the action. You had to get rid of your tension somehow and Yoongi just happened to have his hands in front of you. The white-haired rapper jumped at your roughness but let you continue, enduring the pain with a grimace. "Ok-Oka-y. Please stop now. I still need those hands," he muttered finally and you let them go with an embarrassed smile. 

"It's your time! Now move!" he whisper-yelled as he heard the commotion behind him and pushed you towards the stage entrance. Your eyes flitted over to Jimin who was already there, next to you, looking serious and professional, his gaze fixed on the stage. Focusing back on yourself, you breathed in an out shakily before you both stepped into the spotlight. 

....

"I did it! I did it!" you screeched excitedly as you were finally back backstage. Taehyung hugged you tightly, lifting you up in the air to twirl you around, a big boxy smile adorning his pretty lips. "Yes, you did Skittles!" he laughed, making you giggle softly.               

The other members congratulated you with big smiles. "Your dancing was on point!" JHope grinned and ruffled your hair proudly, "Thank you Hobi," you smiled, thankful for the compliment from the main dancer. 

When he hugged you enthusiastically, your eyes fell on the scene behind the rapper and you could see Jimin leaving. It was like a dagger to the heart. He just left without a word. Just for a second, a short moment, it had felt as if everything was right again. When you had sung together, it had felt real, it had felt as if everything was okay between you. Off the stage though, everything had gone back to normal. 

A defeated sigh escaped your lips and you looked back to the other members, forcing yourself to smile again. "You should get ready! You're up very soon!" you suddenly realized and pushed the guys towards the sound staff that still had to set their mics up. 

"I'll leave now okay? I'd love to see your performance, but I'm drained. All I want to do is fall into my bed," you said with a sorry expression to Taehyung. He nodded with an understanding smile and hugged you one last time before he let you go. 

On your hurried way out, you nearly ran into Jimin. He barely managed to catch you by your shoulders, avoiding a total crash. And as if time stood still, you realized what had happened. Your eyes locked with his and you could see. You could see...just for a brief second... care, warmth, worry, everything you had missed so much these last weeks. But pain soon overshadowed his eyes, only to be finally replaced by this emptiness. This emptiness scared you even more than anger or sadness ever could have.

He had put his Pokerface back on, hiding his true emotions to shield him from harm. 

But you couldn't. You were sick of it. Sick of hiding your sincere feelings. 

"I am so sorry Jimin," you whispered, tears in your eyes. You weren't talking about you bumping into him, you were talking about everything that had happened. You were sorry for the things that had happened, for the things that had driven you apart, for the things that had hurt you both so deeply. He looked away, avoiding eye contact, eyelids fluttering quicker than usual to chase away possible tears. 

"I know," he muttered softly as if he had been talking to himself. 

Before you could voice another word, you were interrupted by a staff calling for Jimin. "I have to go," he said calmly and left you there, standing alone, lost, speechless. It's useless, isn't it? Is all hope gone? Should I just give up on him? 

But he had shown a softer side for a few seconds...