"Why are you up so early?" Jimmy's voice brought me out of my thoughts.
"I couldn't sleep" I mumbled, still in some sort of thought about Brian, and Zacky.
I came to the point that I was going to forget about the past and give my brother a chance and build our brother sister relationship up again. I was still slightly upset that he didn't talk to me for 2 years, all the guys actually, and move on and have a fresh start.
I understood that the band and everything was a little bit hectic for them, but my life at that point was the worst, and without my brother, I didn't know what I was doing with my life. But then Bam and Tony helped me, and I got found and signed to a deal and I'm now a professional skateboarder and I have my own skateboards and my own accessories that has skateboarding products and BMX.
"Whatcha thinking about?" he sat across from me and studied my face.
"Just life" I shrugged.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Lily, I really am. I wish I could have been but the band was getting big and I had to be in a tight schedule" he looked down.
"Dude, it's okay. Bam and Tony helped me a lot and that's how I got found and I'm okay with how life is now, I have you back and that's all that matters to me" I said and he looked up at me and smiled.
"Bam and Tomy?" he questioned.
"I'm a skateboarder and Bam Margera and Tony Hawk, they are my skateboard buddies and they got me found and I'm now a professional skateboarder like them. I have my own skateboards too" I smiled.
"That's great, I remember when you were only 8 when you got your first skateboard and you would be on it everyday and if anyone took it away from you, you'd go crazy."
I laughed and nodded, "I remember I'd always skate in the halls at school, and I got suspended for it"
"We were crazy kids, and I'm lucky to have you as my sister" he came over and hugged me.
I sighed and Brian crept back in my mind. I had no idea what I was going to do? I could talk to Jimmy, but wouldn't he be a bit mad, since it's his bestfriend.
"What's bothering you sis?" he asked.
"If I told you you'd get mad" I said, feelings helpless.
I had nobody to talk to about this. I was alone in almost everything but Jimmy seemed to want to help me. Maybe it is better to tell him how I'm feeling. Rather than keep it from him.
"I promise I won't, talk to me and I'll help you" he gave me a comforting squeeze on my shoulders and I sighed.
"Uh, well I might have feelings for Brian" I finally told him.
"Okay, what do you mean you might?" he asked.
"I just felt attracted to him all of a sudden and I feel like I want to be around him all the time and as close to him as I can get, but I don't know what to do" I sighed.
"Talk to him, tell him how you feel because I'm sure he likes you back. He's never been like that around any other girls, and when he found out you were moving in with me, his eyes lit up and he got excited. He was the only one who knew"
"But he fucking hates me? He won't ever like me like I like him, he hates my guts" I sighed, feeling helpess.
It hurt to know that the one I have feelings for, hates me with a passion.
"You might be wrong, and I have a feeling you are" He smiled and I heard the door open.
I didn't realise Jimmy and I were sat here talking for this long, Zacky, Brian, Matt and a blonde chick came in. The blonde one was attached to Zacky basically she was superglued to him by the looks of it.
