Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
That annoying beeping sound rang loudly in my ear and I mentally groaned. I couldn't stand the sound of it and it was annoying the hell out of me. I forced my eyes to open but slowly seen as wherever the hell I was, the lighting was bright. My eyes were now open and I looked around and I was in a hospital. There was nobody in my room and just as I was about to call for a nurse, the door opened and a nurse walked in.
"Oh, good morning Ms Sullivan, how are you feeling?" she asked, smiling at me.
"I feel pretty shitty" I said honestly. My actions last night flashed in my head and I looked down sadly. I overdosed on anti-depressants with alcohol.
"Would you like some water?" she asked and I nodded.
She checked the drip that was in both my arms and checked my heart rate and everything else before leaving to get my water. I sighed to myself, it didn't fucking work. I probably didn't have enough pills or maybe I should of drank more alcohol. I felt a hole in my chest as I noticed none of the guys came, not even my brother. I knew nobody cared, it was blatantly obvious. The door opened and the nurse came back with my water and smiled.
"Thank you" I said and gulped my water down.
"You're family are here to see you, and to take you home. Will I send them in?" she asked.
Maybe they do care. I was just letting the voice in my was bullshit me, but I knew deep down that they were the only ones who cared.
I nodded in response and she left to get them. I dreaded all the questions they were going to fire at me, I know they won't be happy. Jimmy would probably be mad at me, his little sister tried killing herself obviously he's going to be upset and mad that I went in that direction to kill myself.
They burst through the door and Jimmy came running to my side and he looked sad. He's never sad, and it hurts to see him sad.
"Lily bear, why?" he looked at me sadly. I looked down at my hands, avoiding eye contact with him and the rest of them. I couldn't bare look at their sad eyes. I didn't respond verbally, I just shrugged my shoulders in response.
"Please talk to me" he said, I could hear the sadness in his voice and it made the pain in my chest worse.
"What do you want me to say?" I mumbled.
"Why did you do it?" he said.
"Because I don't want to live anymore" I replied. What more could I say? I had to be careful on how I answer him and anyone else, incase I give away the fact that Dean physically and sexually abuses me.
"But why? I don't understand" he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
I kept quiet and the guys went to the cafeteria to give us time alone. I wanted to go home and go to my bed, this bed was not comfortable at all. I felt like I was lying on the floor with nails sticking out of it.
"Lily, please tell me. I want to know why you did this, tell me how you feel" Jimmy said after moments of silence.
"I feel nothing" I mumbled. I did feel a pain in my chest but I didn't tell him. I didn't want him to know about anything.
"What's brought this on?" he asked.
I wanted so badly to say Dean, but I couldn't. I stayed silent and the door opened after a while and the doctor came in holding papers.
"Ms Sullivan, we ran a few tests to check your health and while doing so, we came upon bruises and cuts on your body. There has been more bruising on your stomach and your thighs, and a few on your face and arms. We also found DNA of another male in your body. With the alcohol and anti-depressant overdose, there was no severe damage" he told me.
