Things between Dean and I are perfect, then they turn into nightmares. We are a couple who love each other, then he attacks me like I killed a dog in front of a 5 year old. A physcotic 5 year old with anger problems. I don't know what out relationship is anymore, but I know that I love him but I can't keep living like this.
I was at the bar, drinking to numb my pain. I'm normally crazy when I'm drunk, but I knew that I now look like a ball of depression. My eyes drooped and they never had the light in them anymore, they were dull and sad.
I covered up any bruises on my face with make up and I was thankful for make up. I didn't need to cover up the few that were on my ribs or my back because they were covered by my clothes. It pained me to see them, and I knew that if any of the guys or girls seen them it was hurt them just as much, but it hurt Jimmy 10 times more than anyone else. I wasn't going to tell him, not ever. I couldn't and I was sure I wouldn't.
I had to put on an act in front if everyone and Dean did too. But as soon as we were by ourselves, and he was angry or drunk he would most likely wish I was dead because of how much he hurts me. Mentally and Physically. I don't know why I let it come to this, I thought I was strong enough to look out for myself and stop the bad things come to me that would cause me harm or put me in danger. I was mentally strong an physically strong, I was a fitness freak. I guess I never really was mentally strong. I must of thought that I was, because I can see now that I'm not.
I downed the last of my JD and Johnny noticed me stumble to my feet and he shook his head at me.
"Yeah she's completely drunk" that was all I could make out from whatever conversation he was having on the phone. I was too drunk to care and soon enough Matt came in and his eyes were fixed on me and he looked angry. He didn't say a word and dragged me out to his car and put me in the passenger seat and took off.
I didn't say anything and beat her did he, his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping the wheel. Why was he so pissed?
We stopped outside Jimmy's and I opened the door and literally fell out the car and flat on my face. I rolled on my back and laughed.
"Silly me" I stood up carefully and I was confused but realised Matt was the one who helped me. I shrugged him off and glared.
"I can walk on my own" I muttered and stumbled up to the door and opened it. I went straight to the kitchen since the light was on and Jimmy was most likely there. Matt didn't listen to what I said and steadied me as I leaned against the counter and stared at the table, it looked interesting.
"Why the fuck were you out drinking, along?" Matt's angry voice boomed. It made me cringe because I was always felt a little scared when he was angry.
"I wanted to drink, and I wanted to be alone" I replied, it came out more rude than I expected and that seemed to tick him off even more.
"Drinking alone is never a good thing for you, there is so many perverted men out there! You could of been in danger!" he yelled and I was actually scared by now and I sat in the corner in the floor, cowering away from him.
"I can protect myself you know!" I shouted back, ignoring every scared feeling I got.
He literally towered over me and when he lifted his arms in a frustrated way, I literally thought he was going to hit me so I hit my face in my knees and covered my head with my arms. I started shaking from fear and tears fell from my eyes.
"Please don't hit me" I sniffled and I never stopped shaking I was that scared.
It was quiet and I looked up and saw Matt and Jimmy's confused faces. Matt walked closer to me and I moved myself back as far as I could and the fear spread across my face as Matt started speaking again in a much calmer voice.
