Realizations

142 10 3
                                    

Walking home with a bloody nose and bruised lip is not what I expected myself to do. I never even thought that in my whole entire life I'd be in an abusive relationship. I never expected myself to fall so deeply in love with someone I could never have. I tend to tell myself to believe the saying, 'Expect the unexpected'.

This relationship with Dean is getting worse everyday and it's slowly killing me. One day I think it's literally going to kill me. I don't know how much more of this I can take before I actually die or something close to that. I don't ever want to see that day, even thinking about it makes me cry.

I reached my house and hoped nobody was home, but as I got closer to the house I could see everyone's cars in the driveway. I dragged my feet along the sidewalk and up the driveway. I wiped my eyes that were filling up with tears while I opened the door and stepped in. I closed the door quietly and turned around, just to run straight into someone's chest. It was hard as a rock and hurt my face. I cringed in pain and looked up slightly to see it was Matt.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I kept my head down and nodded. I went to walk past him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back and examined my face.

"What the hell happened?" he shrieked.

"Nothing" I lied. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and went to walk up to my room. I wanted to avoid everything right now.

"A bloody face and burst lip doesn't look like nothing to me!" he half yelled.

"Well it's nothing to me!" I yelled back and ran into my room and locked the door. It was nothing to Dean but everything to me.

I sunk to the ground and cried into my knees. I was helpless. I don't know what could help me, or if anything could help me. Happiness was taken away from me and I could see that I won't ever get it back. I could see me living till I'm at least 28 or 27. I won't ever get married or have kids. I won't grow old with whoever I marry. If I ever do.. I won't see my kids grow up. These thoughts kill me inside.

The pain in my head worsened as the time went past. I held the back of my head with my hands as I curled up on my bedroom floor. The loud bangs of the guys downstairs were much louder than they really were. I could hear loud footsteps coming upstairs.

"LILY!" I heard Jimmy yell. He banged on my door and I thought that my brain would fall out my ears.

Soon enough Jimmy broke the door down and rushed over to me and pulled me into his chest.

"What happened Lily? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly. (AN: I don't know if that's a word or not)

"My head" I choked out and he pulled my hands away and I could slightly see blood and hear Jimmy yell, "SHIT!" before I blacked out.

****at the hospital**** Brian's POV

I'm in love with her. I'm in love with Lily. Why couldn't I see this before? When she was in hospital last week and I asked if she was okay, her heart rate raced. That was the day I had an argument with Jimmy. He was pissed at me because I've basically been a dick to Lily, and he could see how much pain she was in because of it. I didn't think he meant to tell me that she's in love with me, but he did and I'm glad he did. It made me realise just how much I'm in love with her.

And as for Mandy? I don't love her. I don't even know why I'm with her. She's just here to fill my needs, I guess. We were all currently in the waiting room in the hospital waiting for news from a nurse. Lily came home with a bloody nose, bruised lip and there must have been a gash on her head because Jimmy said she was holding her head and saw blood when he pulled her hands away. That was obviously the cause of her blacking out.

I Know It's Hurting You But It's Killing Me (Synster Gates)Where stories live. Discover now