Silent Love ~a Lauren Cimorelli love story~

Chapter 5

*Jocelyn's POV*

-after VidCon-

I had a lot of fun at VidCon, I met my favorite YouTubers like Lia Marie Johnson, Grace Helbig, Mamrie Hart, Hannah Hart, and more. Didn't I mentioned Lauren was jealous because I met Miranda Sings? Well she was but I gave her Miranda's autograph. We had arrived home. I stayed the Cimorelli's for the night but before I did. I went to home to get my sleepwear and stuffs I need. I went back to their house. The girls expect Lauren and Christina were sitting on the couches, watching a movie. "Where's Lauren?" I asked. "In her room, changing. If you needed to changing, too. Use bathroom." Lisa said.

I nodded. I walked the upstairs and went to the bathroom, forgetting to locked the door. When I was only in my sport bar and boxer with panda on it, I heard the door opened, "Oh my god, I'm so sor-" Lauren said, staring at my sides. My eyes went wide. Shit. I forget about my scars on them, I do self harm but I stopped since I moved here. "W-what is that? Please don't tel-" I interrupted her, "Yes I do self harm.. but I've stopped since I moved."

"But why did you do it?" Lauren said, her eyes were filled with tears like she was about going to cry. "I was in a depression. I thought cutting will make me feel good, make numbness go away. I hate a feeling of numb. It actually make me feel better and make numbness away. I felt like it's the only one way to relieve stress." I said and felt tears streaming down on my face. "What are the reason why you did it.?" Lauren asked, who was crying.

"I never feel happy with myself or who I am.. I was bullied in my hometown because the way I dress, and I'm a lesbian as you aware. I got the names such like dyke, faggot, freak, anything you can think. I was their punching bag. They made me feel shit and worthless," I said. "And there are more reasons but I will tell you later. No one knew about this.."

*Lauren's POV*

"Jocelyn, you're worth and beautiful or handsome whatever it make you feel comfortable. Be yourself, don't let them make you down. You're prefect. Please don't hurt yourself again, if you want to. Please come to me. You don't have to walk this path alone, I'm here if you need me. I promise I will be there for you no matter what." I said, those words came out of my mouth are true, I really do mean it.

"But I'm not prefect." Jocelyn said. She stopped crying but her eyes were red and puffy. "Your imperfections make you prefect. If you don't believe in yourself, I do believe in you. We might not known each other for a month but I can tell you're strong enough. I know it's hard but it's only temporary. Things will change. You won't feel this way forever. Trust me, it will getting better. Maybe not today or tomorrow but it will." I said. Jocelyn looked at me, her eyes were dark blue grey with speak green. I wondered what those color mean but I know others mean, like happy is blue-green, angry is regluar blue, sad is grey, regular mood is hazel green. I hugged her, not caring she was in a bar and boxer. Her body was so warm.

"Thanks." she said, putting her tank and sweatpants. "Those words you just said make me feel better." I smiled. "How long?" I asked. "Since I was 13." Three years, almost four. She'll turn 17 on 9th. She must be good at hiding.

"Sorry. For walking in. I didn't know you were there. Why boxer with pandas?" I asked. She rolled her eyes. "Don't judge me. I'm a lover panda." I laughed. We walked the downstairs. "Hey Lauren, can I steal Jocelyn for a while?" Christina said as we walked to the living room. I looked at Jocelyn if it's okay, she nodded. She went with her to the backyard. I'm kinda worry.

Lisa looked at me worried. "Is everything okay? Why did you and Jocelyn stay in the bathroom long time?" I shook my head, "Don't worry about it." Lisa looked at me if she's trying to figure if I was lying or not. She shrugged and walked the upstairs to our room. I guess she was tired. It's past midnight.

Why did Christina want to talk with Jocelyn?

*Christina's POV*

"Stay away from Lauren." I said as we arrived the backyard.

"Why?" Jocelyn said. "She doesn't like you. I know you like her. Lauren don't like dykes just like you."I slowly said because she was deaf.

"So what? If she doesn't like me, then we would stay friend. If she likes me, then too bad. Because I won't let you to ruin our friendship because I'm dyke. This is not my problem. This is your problem. Deal with it." she smirked. I want to wiped that stupid smirk off her face. "That'll be okay if she doesn't like me." she walked away to back inside.

"SHE WON'T LIKE YOU!" I yelled, knowing Lauren do like her. How can I make her stop liking her.

*Lisa's POV*

I saw Christina walked to our backyard with Jocelyn. Oh no. This isn't going well. Lauren sat next to me, her eyes were red and puffy. I asked her if is everything okay. She told me to don't worry about it. I didn't believe it but I shrugged and went to my room. I went by the window. So I can hear what Christina and Jocelyn said.

"So what? If she doesn't like me, then we would stay friend. If she likes me, then too bad. Because I won't let you to ruin our friendship because I'm dyke. This is not my problem. This is your problem. Deal with it." I heard Jocelyn said. I smiled because she won't let her to ruin it.

"SHE WON'T LIKE YOU!" I heard Christina yelled at her. I just wished she just accept her just like me and others. Can she see Jocelyn make her happy? I sighed. Lauren will be heartbroken if she knew Christina won't accept.

I heard the footsteps and the door opened. I looked at Dani, Lauren and Jocelyn. "Hey." I said.

Jocelyn looked around the room. "Well where am I going to sleep?" Lauren smirked at me. I shook my head, I know what she going to say. "How about you could sleep with me?" Lauren said and winked.

Jocelyn wide her eyes and looked at Lauren. "You perv, not that way. Sleeping with me on the same bed." Lauren laughed. Jocelyn's face was red, I laughed, too. I had to admit it was funny. Jocelyn glared at us and went to Lauren's bed but I noticed something on her sides, it was red an- oh no. I don't think Lauren noticed that I saw her scars because she looked at me and winked. I swear she need Jesus. I will talk with Jocelyn in the morning.

*Jocelyn's POV*

I was so embarrassed. They were laughing at me and I glared at them and went to Lauren's bed. I felt Lauren laid down on the bed. "Goodnight." I heard Lauren said. I turned around and looked at Lauren, seeing her falling asleep. "Goodnight." I said back.

I can't stop thinking what Christina said. I sighed. I started to falling asleep. Before I was fully sleep, I felt the arms warp around me, the head was on my chest and the legs were tangling my legs.

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Hey! I uploaded at last, anyway I will make a new story, it might be awakward because the main charcter will be an intersexual girl. It will be girlxgirl. I don't know when it will come out. Anyway I hope you liked this!

Whoever do self harm. Please have hope and believe in yourself. I used be suicidal person and still am. Don't let people make you down. Be yourself. Stay strong. I love y'all.

Who wanted to know what Jocelyn looked like and her families? Comment if you want!

If you liked this, please vote and comment!

-Jocelyn