wdw boyxboy one shot {complete}

43 // precious jackxdaniel

warning: don't read this if your depression is severe. this chapter includes cutting and depressing thoughts.

j a c k

it did feel like my whole world was crashing down. more like i was stuck in a slow motion car crash. everything around me hurt. everywhere i looked hit me with anxiety. i curled up in a ball and hid under the blanket. my eyes burned from the tears. my eyes were red. i wiped away the tears with my blanket.
"jack?" i hear.
"hmm?" i say.
"are you gonna take a shower?" daniel says.
"y-yeah." I say.
"okay well ill be downstairs since the boys are going out to eat." he says behind the closed door.
"okay." I say.
my legs are shaking from the amount of stress i had been holding on to.
i walked over to my dresser and got my clothes. i walk to the bathroom and shut the door. i look in the mirror and only see shame. it's written boldly. all over my body. i turn on the water and continue to take my clothes off. i turn around to see disappointment in the mirror. i look away. i get in the shower letting the cold water hit my back. i shiver. i let the cold water run through my face and hair.
fat.
worthless.
unloved.
slut.
useless.
untalented.
faggot.
the shampoo runs through my eyes making them burn. the tears flow again. I cant stand it.
i get out and cover myself in a towel. i don't want to look. i look at my eyes in the mirror.
"i don't want to be here.. anymore." I say. i sit in silence letting the tears flow. i don't want to get the boys involved. they must be so tired from tour. they don't deserve to have my miserable self with them. i grab the counter handle and pull it.
under all the shampoo and brushes is the razor.
"i love every single one of you." i whisper.
my hand shakes.
my fingers twitch.
my eyes flicker.
it wasn't soon till the blade hit my thin skin. i bit my lip making sure i didn't make a sound. i opened my eyes to see the blood running down my wrist. i grab my towel and rub it off. i do one more, and another, and another till the tears stop.
i rub the towel roughly against my skin leaving red marks around the cuts. it burns. i get changed and walk out of the bathroom. it's hard to balance on both feet. i sit on the bed.
i simply don't want to be here. i curl up in my bed again. and i don't plan on opening my eyes soon either.

"Jack?" I hear from the door.
"mmhm?" I mumble.
"can i come in?" He says.
"sure." I say quickly covering myself.
the blue eyed boy walks in with a trey in his hands.
"i brought you soup." he says walking over to my bed.
the only smile that could help me. was his.
"thanks." i say.
he puts the trey down on my lap.
"ow." I say kicking my leg up almost spilling the soup.
"did i hurt you?" i say.
it was the cuts i left the other day on my thighs.
"n-noI just had a cramp on my leg." I say.
"oh okay." He says putting down the trey on my nightstand.
he kneels down next to my bed.
"jack you're freezing." He says. i cover my body more. he unties the sweater he has around his waist and puts it on my lap.
"Here." he says. i put my arms up and he puts the sweater on me.
i smile.
"thanks." i say.
he smiles.
i swear his smile is contagious.
he gets up and starts walking to the door.
he stands there.
"Daniel?" I say.
he turns around with tears running down his cheeks. he walks back over to my bed and sits next to me.
"just go to sleep." He says smiling lightly. he cuddled up next to me. but the only thing i had my mind on was his tears.

I wake up to hear the soft sobs from daniel. i get up quickly.
"Daniel." I say grabbing his hand. .
"what?" I ask.
he pulls a razor from his back pocket, it had blood on it.
"It was in your bathroom." He says.
I sit there. Not knowing what to do.
I can only cry.
He wraps his arms around me tight.
"why?" He says.
"why?"
i shake my head no.
"im sorry." I say sobbing.
He pulls away and grabs my arms. He glances down at the cuts. I cover my face in shame.
"jack you know how much we love and adore you." he says. I nod.
"I'm sorry." I say
I feel his soft lips on my cuts.
he takes the blanket off of me and takes my shorts off. he glides his fingers on each of my cuts.
I cover my self up with his sweater.
I cry and cry not wanting to know what they'd do with me.
He picks me up making me go face to face with him.
"look at me." He says, grabbing my face.
"you're so worth it. you deserve so much love and affection in your life. you don't deserve any of this. you're the most precious thing to stand on this earth. you're beautiful just the way you are. you're personality is unique. you're smile is gorgeous. you're precious skin should not be treated that way. you deserve so much jack avery. i will always love you." He says crying. I hug him tightly. I don't let go.
"can i tell you something?" He says.
i wipe away my tears and nod.
he grabs my face and kisses my lips. it was long and passionate. i held on tight.
i pulled away.
"i love you okay? don't ever forget that." He says.
I smile and wipe one last tear before falling asleep with the boy i love, daniel.

{a/n: for all of you who struggle with mental health; you are ever so loved. you don't know how many people out there love and support you. you may feel like you're alone and that's okay. im here. i go through stuff you go through. if you ever want to harm yourself, think again. self harm is in no way the answer to things. it's not a way to cope with depression or suicide thoughts nor anxiety. if you have suicidal thoughts remember, you'll leave the people you live alone and afraid. you have so many people on this earth who will support you. you are so beyond worth it and deserve so much. you are precious and loved don't ever forget that. ily all have a good day or night, and just try to be happy for me.
ily
💖💘💞💓💝💕—}

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i will always stand by you