No more dream

30: The surprise (2)

Jungkook's POV

I didn't go to school today because I wanted to visit eomma and appa. I went to the store very quick to buy some flowers, and went to their graves.

I was standing there with flowers in my hand while I was just staring at them. I felt myself falling to the ground and then bowing to them constantly. "Mianhae." My tears fell without me noticing. But I didn't try to hold it back.

I started talking to them even though they wouldn't respond. "If you both were to come back, would you blame me for causing you both to die?" A cool breeze hit my face. "I can do better. I'll do better.. right?"

I never knew the feelings of family love growing up. What is love? I would always be alone during the parties they gave my younger classes. I was alone when I graduated middle school, and I still am now in high school.

"You know I hate you, eomma and appa so much. I hate myself as well. If you guys didn't marry, I would've not have been born. And if I wasn't born, I would've not have killed you both. Aish!"

I hit the ground in agitation. I cried for so long at eomma and appa's graves that my eyes became puffy and I had bloodshot eyes. My eyes were stinging and my nose was red. I placed the flowers down and left.

-

I was in my room looking at the bracelet that I got for Yuna. For some reason, looking at this bracelet and thinking about Yuna puts me at ease. I sigh and lie on my bed.

I take a look at my phone and look at the time. I might as well not go to school then. I then see a notification.

"Where are you?" from Yuna 10 minutes ago.

I open my phone and went to messages.

I... am somewhere personal. It's just those days, am I right?

Right after thinking that, I was at somewhere personal. But I guess my room has some personal stuff. Thinking of what to say, I found myself looking at the bracelet. I have an amazing idea.

What if I give the bracelet to her at someplace fun? It would be kind of awkward if I just give it to her.

Let's go somewhere tomorrow. I'll meet you at your house at 1:30 pm.

Alright, see you then.

I felt myself smiling as I thought of where to go. It's perfect! I'm sure she'll have tons of fun! It'll be a complete surprise though; where we are going and when I'm going to give her the bracelet.

From that moment on, I was thinking all about what we were going to do tomorrow. I needed to take my mind off of eomma and appa. I wanted this to be a happy moment for Yuna. I can't ruin it with this sour attitude of mine.

-

The surprise of where we went was an amusement park! It certainly showed on her face that she was in shock. The perfect reaction that I expected.

When we went on the first roller coaster, I was really pumped up. It looked really fun. I was going toward the roller coaster when I thought I heard Yuna's voice, but it was cut off by the megaphone. It's probably my imagination.

When we went on, I made a challenge to see who can put their arms up the longest. What caught me off guard was when she held my hand. She squeezed my hands, but it was still warm.

I looked at her to see her eyes closing so tight that it could break. Is she afraid of roller coasters? I hope not because this day would be the wrong time to give her the bracelet.

I've been looking for chances to give her the bracelet. If I give it to her before we go on a roller coaster again, she might lose it. I lose my chance during lunch because I was so immersed with my food. So I decided I'll give it to her at the end of the day. If I don't forget.

When we went on another roller coaster, she started to scream. The first time I've ever heard her scream. She stopped screaming a few short moments later as tears form in her eyes. She wipes her tears as we get off.

-

We've managed to do half the rides here. It makes me think that if we come back here again, we can finish the rest of the rides. Then we can compare rides and see which side is better.

But seeing the way Yuna reacted during the rides, it made me think that maybe I should go on my own time. We go to the Ferris wheel at the end of the day for our last ride. We go inside as it slowly goes up.

As we gradually go higher, I see her fidgeting with her fingers. I asked her if she had fun. She replied that she did have fun. But her eyes said no. When we reach the top, I snap of realization that I still need to give her the bracelet.

"Close your eyes." Yuna looks from the scenery outside, to me.

"Waeyo?" I feel myself smirking.

"Just do it." She hesitates for a moment, and then closes her eyes. I made sure she had her eyes closed, and took out the bracelet.

I put it on her wrist, and it shines brightly as if it was destined for her to wear it. "You can open your eyes now." She looks at her wrist and her jaw opens. "Is this from the markets we went to before?" I shake my head.

"I can't accept this! This bracelet was expensive! I'll need to pay you back. Don't you know I'm not worth spending money on?" she starts to freak out. "It's called a gift, Yuna."

I take her hands and look deeply into her eyes. I really don't know what went over me, but I feel myself going slowly closer to her as the gap between us begin to close. Her eyes slowly closed. I flinched when our lips almost touched.

I pull back and kiss her on the forehead. I then pull her into an embrace. "Gomawo. This day has been really fun." I caress her hair. A few moments of silence filled the air, but then she pats my back and then ruffles my hair. "Agreed. Thank you for the gift and for the fun we had today."

We broke from our embrace and smiled at each other. This was something I didn't want to ruin. Our friendship. I do like Yuna. She makes my heart pound fast and she can make my heart ache in a matter of seconds. Her presence in my life changed me.

But I might hurt her like how I did with my parents. And I don't want that. She doesn't like me anyways, so that's a plus, at least that's what I presume.

If she liked me back. it'll be a grave mistake. She can't be with someone that will hurt her. She can't like me. I can't risk loving someone again.

Even if that person is important to me.

-

We ride on the bus, we get off the bus at her stop, and I take her home. We said our goodbyes, and I left to go home. I come to a conclusion with my thoughts about Yuna.

I've decided that liking Yuna will make her life worse. I can't hurt her and I won't hurt her. This is probably the best for the both of us. If it's for your happiness...

This will be the last day I will like you.