3 | TO EAT

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"it must hurt knowing i'm your most beautiful regret"

"it must hurt knowing i'm your most beautiful regret"

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‣track three: 23 by Chase Atlantic


She was right, the moment her eyes had fluttered open at the steely rays of sunlight escaping through the crevices of her window and latching onto her face, her whole upper body ached all over.


It was then that she assessed she was in her room, on her bed comfily tucked in and in her pajamas. Shooting upright, she couldn't make sense of the scenario at all. She tried to recall the memories of last night, but after her dramatic outbreak with Taehyung and his jacket, everything was a little hazy afterwards. She didn't even remember coming home.


She didn't want to have unnecessary worry spout all over her and ruin her entire Sunday morning, so she reluctantly peeled herself out of the comfort of her bed and slipped her alien slippers that sat at the floor where her feet would come into contact with the bright green antennae.


However, to her disarray, she heard the morning birds chirping a little more loudly than usual. Bringing her attention to the opened window of her balcony, her eyebrows knit together in confusion. Parting her lips slightly, she brought it back in for a pout.


She never opened the balcony door, why was it open?


She quickly disregarded any negative thoughts and decided it was probably her mother. Hauling her heavy body, she sluggishly crossed the room over to the sliding door and locked it shut.


Dragging her body out her room lazily, the wooden floor boards croaked as her weight sunk into them, the antique and ancient household moaning its age.


Taking her sweet time to walk the narrow hallway of her home, she couldn't help but feel extreme fatigue, a feat she never experienced even from overworking. As soon as she lazily hooked her palm onto the bathroom door knob, nausea overcame her.


Every image her eyes came across had distorted and haziness inevitably consumed her. Her body gave in from underneath her and she had collapsed onto the cold wooden floor.


Hours later she awakened, her right arm shot up with pain. Tending to it, she touched at her arm with such gentle motion that it stung at the lightest touch. Focusing her limb in view, a patch of purple had surfaced onto her bony prominence. Grunting in pain, she shuffled her body more comfortably to sit upright and lean her back on the wall.


Mentally cursing at herself, she eyed the wall clock, making out numbers to where the short hand pointed to 5:00 pm, squinting her eyes further and concluded that it was actually nearing 6:00 pm.


She bit her bottom lip at the unfortunate events that had occurred, half her day already wasted, and her mother would be coming home from working overtime at the hospital.


She brought herself up to finally enter the bathroom, flicking the light switch to illuminate her now pale face in the mirror. She looked ghastly, her hair tussled; brown waves a mess. Prominent eye bags and her already slim body had showcased sharp eccentric features—her collarbones popping outward to the extent it was almost unhealthy.


Running cold water through her hands, it livened her, soon after she hastened to splash the cool water onto her face, blood finding its way back to circulate within her, her skin beginning to feel alive again.


When she brought her face back to look into the mirror, she eyed her chapped lips to find a small cut at the edge. Running her tongue to the wound, it stung slightly, memory hazy as for how she obtained such injury. Perhaps she bit too hard on her lip as she slept?


Her eyes trailed from her cut lip to her neck, it was decorated with small patches of bruises.


Gasping in shock, she quickly brought her hands to finger at the hickeys, worry washing over her as color left her skin yet again.


Her hands trembled as she ran them down her body, unbuttoning her pajama top to reveal darker hues of bruises located just underneath her collarbone. She stopped herself from peering lower to her chest, afraid of what she might see. Tearing her sight away from the mirror, disbelief would be an understatement.


Gulping down was difficult, her throat was dry. Her stomach flipped over at the thought of being taken advantage of. She rushed to kneel before the toilet, projecting out nothing but a colorless liquid. Beads of sweat had formed on her upper lip as she ceased to catch her breath and brought a weak hand to wipe off excess secretions around her mouth.


She sat there mindlessly, her thoughts unable to comprehend her state of being.


In the corner where a small window was perched, the bathroom window slowly unhinged, sound inaudible to her unaware state. Slowly, the window opened completely, a cool night draft swarming the room as she sat on the tiles.


Red eyes soon came to view, watching her slumped form. Cracking it's knuckles until dislodged at the distal phalange, the sound echoed in the desolate room, making her turn her head slowly at the direction.


Her eyes trailed to the window that hung open and she hesitantly walked towards the tub, sliding the curtain and stepped within the white porcelain bath.


Tiptoeing to close the opened window, unbeknownst to her an intruder was behind the wall that separated them. Inching her fingertips closer to shut the window, her heart thumped loudly against her rib cage.


The creature anticipated her close proximity though its heightened sense of hearing could hear a jangling of keys from the front door. With this, it hurriedly vanished into the darkness.


Successfully shutting the window, she made her way towards the toilet and flushed down her vomit and proceeded to brush her teeth. Spitting out the foamy toothpaste, she gurgled clean water and exited out the bathroom to come face to face with her exhausted mother.


"Oh, did you just wake up honey?"


Sliding past her, her footstep had made the wooden floor board creak. "Yeah, did you bring home dinner?" She could smell Chinese take-out diffusing into the air and wasted no time to follow the aroma.


"Hold on just a minute," her mother grabbed her wrist before she could flee and satiate her hunger. "I don't want you working if this is the outcome." Her mother looked at her appearance. Jennie looked sickly.


"I'm fine—"


"No, you look like a ghost. I'm going to give that Mrs. Robinson a good earful."


"Mom, there's really no need, and school is coming up anyway so I won't be working starting next week." Loosening her daughters arm from her grip, she softened her gaze.


"You know, I'm only worried about you, you're my only daughter and to even have you help out to make ends meet makes me feel like a failure as a mother." She tucked Jennie's brown waves behind her ear, proceeding to poke at her nose. "Go ahead downstairs and eat your dinner. I brought home some Chinese take-out from your favorite restaurant.


Without another exchanging of words, the mother daughter duo smiled at each other. Jennie would not allow her mother to see her bruises or the potential trauma she had no recollection of from the night before. Her eyes glued to the staircase as she descended from it, a rough cough had interrupted her thoughts and concentration.


Smiling at her as he sat at their table, he grinned widely at her, excited to eat. She frowned at him.


"What are you doing here?"

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