Faults [ft. Chresanto August]

Fifteen.

I walked up to the door and gave it a few knocks.

Aubree was in my arms playing with my necklace and from time to time, she would try to sneak it in her mouth. It's been like that lately, she's been chewing on everything she could get hold of. Also, she's been very irritable and tired; well, more tired than usual. I had thought about taking her to the doctor, but I figured it was just a baby thing or something.

The door swung open and there stood a shirtless Chris. I'd be lying if I said Chris wasn't attractive; he was a smooth dark chocolate and his and were well and toned.

Chris snapped me out of my thoughts, "Hey Chanel."

"Christopher," I stepped in and brought Aubree straight back to his room. There was hardly ever a time when she wasn't sleeping, like damn.

Once I got back to the front of the room, Chris was sitting back in the reclining chair. He hadn't even noticed I was back in the room with him.

I cleared my throat and sat on the couch opposite of him. His head shot up and he sat up.

"Chanel, I think you know what I wanted to talk to you about."

I looked around and stopped on my fingers, "I don't have any idea on what you called me here for."

"Really? You want to play stupid and act childish?"

"Who the hell are you calling stupid Christopher? Don't start with me because you can end up just like Brianna." I knew he was calling me here to talk about this, that's why I had second thoughts about even showing up.

He looked taken back by my response, "Calm your ass down, that's your problem right there. You got a bad temper problem."

"Shut the hell up."

"No, you shut your ass up. I've put up with your attitude since we were in high school, and for what? 'Cause I love you and you're too blind to even see that. You over here fucking random dudes night after night when I can give you what you want every night. Don't you see that? I can give you everything you want! I'm going somewhere in life," he paused and continued before I could even speak. "And you fighting your best friend? What the hell was that? That's not you! You would never ever fight Bri."

"She hit me first and it's my fault that I hit her back? And I never changed, I'm still the same girl you knew in high school."

"Like hell you are! You would never sleep with randoms! You were the smartest kid in our class back in high school!" He was staring me down and it made me feel weird. "Stop staring at me Chris."

"I can read you like a book. This front you're putting on is not fooling anyone, well not me at least. I've known you since we were little bruh, like stop trying to fool me. You don't want to be like this. You want to be in school, working on being a doctor; like you've been talking about all your life. You want a cute ass long lasting relationship that leads to marriage and you want a family. Am I right or am I right?"

Right. "Wrong." Lies.

"Are you sure that I'm lying?"

Nope. "Yes."

He simply stared at me for a few seconds, as if he was studying me and expected me to crack at any moment.

But, I wasn't going to. "I'm not the same girl you knew back then. I've changed, okay? Life changes people every single day Chris, so welcome to the real world. You could read through the old Chanel, not this one so stop trying. Everyone talks about how I need to stop doing what I do, but everyone needs to mind their own damn business. Including you!"

Next thing I know, he grabbed me by the shoulders and began kissing me. I was in such shock, I didn't know what to do. He had never kissed me before and this was weird. I could tell he was into the kiss, but I just couldn't put myself in it.

"No Chris, I-I can't do this." I had to pull away; otherwise, he would get the wrong idea.

"Why not Chanel? You can kiss every other nigga in Valley, but not me? Someone who wants more than sex from you!"

"I can't be with you! You're my best friend and-" I had to cut myself off, I didn't want to hurt his feeling anymore than I have. I do care about Chris, just not in the way he does about me. More like a brother, 'cause Chris is really like my brother.

"And what?"

"Nothing Chris," I put my head down and stood up.

"And what?! You can go out here and hoe around and give out free pussy to dudes you haven't met a day in your life, but me kissing you is that bad of a thing? You done had your mouth on dick and everything, but I still kissed you. You are a prostitute, just like Bri said."

That pushed me off the edge. "I don't want to kiss you 'cause I don't like your ass. I never have and I never ever will. I could never see you as my boyfriend 'cause you're not my type. And I do give my pussy up to everyone, and you can't even get a kiss from me." I started walking to the back to get Aubree, "I'm leaving. Don't hit my line up anymore."

"Chanel, wait please."

I snatched my arm out of his grip and turned around to face him. "Not in a million years would I think that my best friends would turn on me. Do you know how that feels? You and Brianna both know why I am the way I am and you still have the nerves to call me something like that!"

"You make people mad Chanel, you don't know how to talk to people and you make them want to flash out on you!"

"Shut the hell up because you shouldn't say anything like that! No matter how mad you get Christopher, we're best friends!" I paused and traced the brim of my eyes to stop tears from falling, but my eyes began to burn and my throat started to become dry. And that's when I knew the tears were coming and there was no stopping them. "Well, were best friends."

"You know why people try to talk to you about your lifestyle? Because no one ever expected it to be you living like this! Your life is the exact opposite of how everyone thought it would be," he stated.

"How could you expect me to live differently?! No one expected my dad to get shot, did they? You know how close my dad and I were and you expect it not to change me? My dad was the most important thing in my life! He died for no damn reason!"

By now the tears were pouring abruptly and I couldn't stop them. I was already on the verge of tears, but bringing up my dad made things worse. It happened when I was fourteen, but it still made me go crazy.

I gathered myself and wiped my face with the palm of my hand. "I'm leaving, I don't want to talk to you or Brianna ever again."

My dad was my best friend, we literally did everything together. I felt like my mom was always so jealous of my dad and I's relationship, were inseparable as people would say. When I had boy problems, or any type of problems, I would go to my dad. Maybe that's why my mom and I don't have that great of a relationship.

I could remember coming home from school one day and asking my mom where my dad was. He promised that he would help me with a school project that I had been assigned that week. She told me that he'd gone to the store to get some art things for my project that we'd work on when he got home.

Hours had passed and he hadn't made it home yet. I had grew nervous and thoughts of something bad happened to him were rushing through my mind. I remember my exact feelings that night.

The next day early that morning, there was a knock on our door. I had hoped it was my dad, but why would he have to knock? He had a key to our home so there was no need.

An officer stood at our front door and told us the news that would change my life forever. My dad had been shot with a bullet that wasn't meant for him. He had been walking out of the store and someone had shot him, thinking that it was someone else.

The sad part is, they never found the guy that did it.

That's why I am how I am today, heartless and care free. All my aspirations for life were done with when my dad died.

It's like I died when he died.