Abandoned - Negan's daughter (Carl Grimes fan fiction)

Chapter Thirty-seven - Blame

Blair

The bump was forming, I could see it. It was getting bigger and bigger every week. I stared at myself in the long vertical mirror as I ran my hands over my bump gently. Suddenly, I heard someone creak the door behind me and it was Daryl. I stared at him as he eyed me down, still laying a hand on my bump.

"What?" I asked him and he done nothing but stare at me from the doorway. I knew Daryl didn't like the thought of me having a child at this age, or at all really but we can't do anything about that. "There is nothing to talk about." I snapped at him and turned around, staring at myself in the mirror again.

"Have you talked to Rick?" I asked him and he just grunted for an answer. Daryl was supposed to talk to Rick about the next trip, but obviously he hasn't. "I take that as a no." I spoke to him again and I seen him in the corner of the mirror with his head down. "What's wrong?" I asked him and turned around again to look at him.

He stayed silent for a little while but I didn't want him to be pressured into telling me. "Nothin'. I got you this. I heard it was a girl." Daryl spoke and I seen him take out a pink bunny teddy from his pocket. I couldn't see into his eyes because his shaggy hair was covering them but I was thankful to him that he cared enough about mine and Carl's child.

He awkwardly popped it on the table and looked up at me. "Thank you." I said and smiled slightly at him. He nodded to me before turning around to walk away, out of my room. I sighed deeply before walking over to pick up the teddy, holding it close to my chest. This child was going to be born into something dark and terrifying but that doesn't mean me and Carl won't be here to help our little girl through that.

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"Have you seen Carl?" I asked Rosita as she sat in the church by herself. Her back was towards me but I could tell it was her. She stayed silent for a while until I walked over to her. The church was big and only us two were here. I seen her stare at the stand in front of her with the bible sitting on it.

I sighed and slowly sat beside her. She didn't move or flinch at all once I sat beside her. I stared at her face as tears fell out of her eyes. I didn't know what was wrong with her but it hurt me to know that maybe she was still heartbroken by Abraham's death. Of course she was. I was still hurt by everything at the ambush.

"I haven't seen him Blair." "That's fine. Are you okay?" I asked her and she shrugged her shoulders slightly. "How do you do it?" "Do what?" I asked her and she turned her head to face me. "Live. Live without fearing another day, Negan will come back and kill you or me or Carl..." She snapped at me and I stared at her as tears continued to pour down her face.

"You know this is you're fault and you know you can't do shit about it! Do all of us a favor and leave... Leave Alexandria and don't come back..." Rosita yelled at me and I stared at her in awe. I knew everything I've done was wrong and horrible to everyone. I stared at my feet and felt tears start to pour out my eyes.

"You're right." I spoke and stood up, walking away from her. As soon as I walked outside I seen Carl with Judith sitting on the patio, painting their hands with blue and red paint. I wiped my tears away from my eyes and walked over to them both. Carl looked up at me, covering the sun up from his eye.

"What are you cuties doing?" "Paint." I heard Judith speak up and hold her small little hand up with blue pain covering it. Carl laughed at Judith slightly and looked back at me. I smiled at the little girl playing with paint and wished for Judith to have a better life than this. I wished for mine to have a better life than this.

"What's up?" Carl asked as he stared up at me above him. "Nothing. I just thought we could go out for a bit. Go for a walk yknow." I suggested and Carl smiled at me, nodding.

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"You do know I meant a walk, not a drive right?" I asked Carl as he drove us down the road, not knowing where we were both headed. Carl looked over to me smiling slightly. "Dad wanted me to grab some gasoline anyway. It's the same thing, we're still together." He rested a hand on my thigh as he kept his eye on the road now. 

"Your spending a lot of time with Judith. How is she?" I asked him and I earned a deep sigh coming from his mouth. "It's like she doesn't know any better. She's still young and I don't want her to give all that up. She deserves to have a life." He said and I nodded as he squeezed my leg, gently. 

"Look." Carl spoke up and pointed towards the busted up cars in front of us on the road. "I'm gonna pull in, see if any of these cars has gas." He turned into the side of the road and lifted the hand brake. As I unplugged my seat belt he grabbed my hand. "Stay here." "What? Are you serious?"

"Yes. I am." He said and opened his car door but before he could jump out I grabbed his wrist. "Carl. I'm not gonna stay in here whilst you check these cars by yourself." I said and he stared at me for a moment before deeply sighing. "Fine. Just take your gun." He said and I jumped out of the car before anything else could be said. 

He grabbed the can for the gasoline and walked over to the cars with me. We were on a highway and it was too quiet. I didn't know why. As most of the cars here we busted and burnt from recent fires, we covered more ground and walked further through the woods. 

We slowly came up to more cars and we noticed how much junk was scattered across the grass. Kids bikes, chairs, tables all sorts of stuff. "Awh god." I groaned at the kids bikes. Even knowing kids were around here made my stomach turn into a whole lot of sadness. 

"It's alright. Look." He spoke up and grabbed my hand, walking over to the gas station across the road from us. We both slowly walked up to it, not seeing anyone just yet but we don't speak too soon. "That car looks decent." I said and he nodded, letting go of my hand and getting ready to wipe it out clean. 

"Hi." We both heard a voice from behind us making everything drop to the ground and we grabbed out our weapons. "I'm alright. I mean... I'm not but... I've been shot at." The voice spoke up and we couldn't see anything or anyone. Carl pushed me behind him slightly by walking in front of me and I seen the anger in his eye that someone snuck up on us. 

As this man who was hiding kept talking to himself, Carl walked further to the voice and knelt to the ground, dropping his hat off his head. He looked underneath the car and I furrowed my eyebrows at him, wondering what the hell he was doing. 

Carl suddenly, jumped up and sprinted to the other side of the gas station, holding his gun up at a figure in the distance. "Hands up!" I heard Carl yell and I ran over to where he was, standing behind him. I examined the guy in front of him and he held his hands up. The man was scared and injured. He needed help but we don't help anyone who would try and attack us. 

"Listen. I'm gone. Huh? It's cool. I just wanted some... e-even just some food."The man spoke up and suddenly gun shots blared out and Carl looked behind him to see me, not shooting. So who was? 

Quickly, Rick frightened the man away by shooting at him aggressively. Carl ran up to his father and stared at him. "You were supposed to meet me at the intersection." Rick spoke up and Carl glared at his dad. I knew Carl was angry about what his dad done to the man because he was one to help and save people. He wouldn't let them die.  

"I shot over his head. I just wanted him gone." "If you heard what he-" "-I heard what he said. Most of it. But he could've been one of them." Rick spoke to Carl and it was silent for a minute. "Blair was one of them. You gonna shoot her." "WAS one of them." Rick snapped back and pushed his gun back in his holster. 

"If he was one of them, I hope he makes it." Rick said, walking up to Carl but he didn't give a shit. He stormed away from Rick and we both exchanged looked after he left. "You should be at Alexandria, resting." "Rick I'm fine. I wanted to leave. It was my choice." I said back and he slowly nodded.