Darkness in the Neon Lights (H2OVanoss)

Chapter 24

I feel as if I was in a daze... No... I was on a different planet. My mind was floating through space, while my body was getting crushed by the weight of the earth.

My stomach is tied up to the point where I couldn't even throw up if I wanted to, and my heart feels like stone. It isn't ripped from my chest, it isn't torn to pieces. It's stoned. Numbed. I can't feel anything anymore.

I can't cry anymore. The tears burn so much that it feels as if someone cut opened my eyes and decided to rub salt and lemon juice into them.

I haven't been okay since yesterday. When Smitty was murdered and Marcel  is on the verge of death.

I snap back to reality as I feel the weight of someone's hand on my shoulder. I look over and see Panda with a forced smile. "Come on," he tells me before unbuckling my seat belt. "We're here."

I look out the window and see that we were in front of the hospital. I look down and open the passenger side door before jumping out and following Panda as he leads the way through the cold hallways. Everywhere around me, I see doctors and nurses, running around, doing everything they can to either keep people from dying, or making them as comfortable as they can while they die.

I barely noticed when Panda stopped to talk to a nurse, and almost ran into him. I shake my head at myself as I think about how stupid I am for still being so out of it. It's a good thing Panda offered to drive me here today, otherwise I may have crushed and killed myself trying to get here.

I sigh and look up to the back of Panda's head. For weeks, we've been losing so many people in so many different ways. It's killing me inside, so I can only imagine how he must be doing. This can't be easy, nor would it be easy for a long while. He had just hired two new people to replace Bryce and Ohm. Lui only recently came back from resting after he collapsed. Brock literally just woke up yesterday. There is so much happening so fast and so soon. So close together... How is the club doing?

When Panda starts walking again, I follow behind him in silence. As he leads the way, he looks over his shoulder and raises his eyebrow at me. "Are you going to say anything?"

I look up to him and shrug my shoulders, not really knowing what to say or do. This makes him stop and turn around to me. "Vanoss, look, I'm worried about you. You've been through so much, and seen so much recently."

I look away from him and sigh. "I'll be fine, Panda. I just... There are so many secrets at the club, it just doesn't feel the same as it use to. And now Marcel and Smitty-"

"You can't blame the club for the actions of a fucked up person, Vanoss."

"I know that. It's just-"

"Evan," he starts, causing me to look back to him out of habit. "I know that there is a lot happening right now. And yes, there have been some things that we've hidden from you, but it was only because we wanted to protect you from all of it."

"Protect me from what?"

"Oh come on, Vanoss. You told us why you ran away from home. You didn't have anywhere else to go, so what do you think we were determined to hide from you to get you to stick around?"

"Well, what about the stalking? Ohm and Smitty told me about what happened to some of the guys that left the club before."

"Stalking by itself is really dangerous and scary. I didn't want you to hear about it and run away."

"I would have rather hear about it over being lied to."

He sighs before he says, "Alright. That's fair enough."