Darkness in the Neon Lights (H2OVanoss)

Chapter 42

*Trigger Warning*

The night rolled by so slowly that it honestly felt like the world had stopped turning at some point. My mind keeps wandering back to last night. To Mini. It all feels like a horrific nightmare, but no matter how much I scream, cry, and beg, I just can't wake up.

After what Jon and I saw, I begged him to just take me home, telling him that some police officers are regulars at the club, and although I wanted to get someone out there to get Mini, I knew that they would tell the guys at the club and that there was no saving Mini from that fall... forty fucking feet with nothing but rocks at the bottom...

When I got back to Jon's apartment, I called the police, made an anonymous tip, and went home. The next morning, I had to confirm what I had already known. Mini killed himself, and his suicide note left on his car windshield told everyone what he told me last night.

Everyone wanted to avoid work today, but Panda told us that everyone was needed today. He said he couldn't afford to close the club again. He might have been telling the truth, but I'm not too sure. Valentine's Day normally is a busy day, a lot of single guys and girls normally come in to see us.

Anyways, throughout the long night, there was such a somber feeling that hung over the club that it honestly felt more like a funeral home more than a strip club. Everyone had lower energy levels, even Lui. No one was in a talkative mood, not even Ze and I. It took so much strength to keep all of us from breaking down into tears that we were all tired... especially Tyler.

Tyler has been holding back tears for hours and has been more or least gone today. Everyone could tell that. And seeing him like this honestly killed me, because I knew how much he loved Mini. I could only imagine the shit going through his mind. I could only imagine how much he is blaming himself for something that he couldn't have avoided.

That I failed to stop.

The night dragged on for what honestly felt like days. However, it finally came to an end. We were able to kick people out. We were able to change our clothes. We were able to go home.

Home... Back to the apartments where Tyler left Mini... where he cried when he came back the night after and saw that he was gone... the pain in his voice at that time was heartbreaking enough. He was so scared and so worried. All he wanted was to make sure Mini was okay... and to hear that after I knew what had happened...

That pain doesn't matter anymore, I guess... because the tears of yesterday had nothing on the tears of this morning. Over the past year and a half I've hung out with Tyler, never had I seen him as defeated as this. Not when he was afraid of getting kicked out of college. Not when he had to stay up for days at a time to worry about homework, work, and classes. Not even when we lost everyone last year. Never had I seen him on his knees in tears... until this morning...

Looking over to him now, as he sits at Mini's vanity, just looking through the shit he had in the drawers so he could clean it out, he doesn't look the same. He looks like his world had been destroyed... I guess it has.

"Don't think about your family, just think about what this will do to Tyler. If you think it's unfair that he has to help you, think about how heartbroken he will be if you are gone. Don't you think he will think life is unfair?"

If Mini could have seen how his death would have affected Tyler, I wonder if it could have prevented it... I wonder if there was anything I could have said that would have prevented it.

"Evan?" I turn around and see Brock, Ze, and Lui standing next to me. "Aren't you going to finish changing?"

I sigh and rip out the panda ears, pulling out some of my hair in the process, and throwing them into my locker before I take off the crop top, switching it with a plain black t-shirt. I then slam my locker shut and turn back to the guys. Brock just reaches over and starts to gently rub my back. "I know that you're upset-"