Reaching Insanity (Matt Smith fanfic)

Part 26

I sat on an iron bench in the garden of Matt's house, the fauna was overflowing all around me. Even though the air was hot, it was about seven in the evening so I was wrapped up in one of Matt's sweaters. I hadn't moved much today. I felt like nothing. Like a black hole had been shot through my body. Ever since I had found out that my mother had stopped paying three days ago, I wasn't me anymore... This isn't me, as if all of me had been sucked out and now I'm nothing but a shell.

A shell that Matt tried to fill with tea and kisses.

"I don't drink Matt, you know that," I said as he set two glasses of wine, full to the rim, on the side table.

"I know," he chuckled as he walked inside, he soon returned with a cup of tea. "The wine is for me silly."

"Matt, you're an alcoholic." I sniffed, we both chuckled lightly. Everything seemed so, touch and go lately; not too deep.

"What is this? An intervention?" he sipped the first glass of wine, rolling his lips after each drink. I had realized that I loved watching him drink. It was as if the warmth from his drunken chest radiated to me.

I sighed and stared around at the beautiful plants around us. Trees that grew beautiful tiny white buds, flowers of every color and grasses every shade of green.

"Matt this garden is beautiful," I sighed hugging the cup of tea with my hands.

"Thank you. I had a landscaper come in and do it before I moved in," he said as he join me in gazing around the plants.

"Moved from?"

"England," he chuckled pointed or his lips, his accent.

"Haha of course," he plucked a small bundle of white flowers from the tree above us and set it on the saucer of my cup. "What made you moved here?"

"What else would a man move over the ocean for?" he chuckled halfheartedly and took another long, slow sip. "A woman."

I chuckled too, of course. The way he worded that sent a pang to my heart. A woman. Does he see me as a girl? As a... Plaything? The term discussed me, but the fact that it's possible hurt me even more. I pushed the thoughts from my mind.

He continued, "I met this woman in England, she was there on vacation. I moved back with her," I looked at him and he chuckled again, staring into his glass. "I'm a bit sporadic, in case you didn't notice," I nodded. "Anyways, I moved back here, she picked out this house. As a surprise I used some back up money to pay a designer to decorate. She loved it." he took another sip, his voice had now become flat. Did he regret all of it?

We were silent for a moment, "What happened?" I whispered.

He inhaled fully and began back in his normal tone. "Well, just like everything else sporadic... It fell apart," and he left it at that.

I sighed, sipped the tea. It was good. Why had I been rejecting it these months? I laughed a bit, sighed... Thought.

"What am I going to do Matt...?" I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face.

"You've been quite silent about it since yesterday," he put an arm around me and pulled me close to him.

"I've been numb." I sighed and laid my head against him, the contact with him felt like fresh air.

I looked up at him, his thin lips were pursed together... His hair combed to the side as always.

"Why were we so cold at first Matthew," I sighed and he turned, looking into my eyes.

"Why were we so cold when you first moved it," he took another sip of wine, finishing off the first glass. Shortly replacing it in his hand with the full glass. "Beginnings are always silent. And that was our new begining."

"Then what does that make now?"

"Now?" He chuckled, sipped. "Now, is what we'll look back on one day and call it the 'good times', it may be the hardest part in life... But moments this perfect are rare."

I couldn't help myself from smiling, I felt his pulse through my side, my heart began to race with his.

He thinks this is perfect.

This is perfect.

~~~

Those were the good times.

And then, that's all that mattered to me, because I was so...

naïve.

I didn't even think about what else he had said.

"Now, is what we'll look back on one day-"

Look back.

You never think about looking back.

You never think of it... Ending.

( I'd just like to apologize for such a short chapter. I'd appreciate a dm or comment about this if u are keeping up or if it's enjoyable or whatever, thank you :) )