Reaching Insanity (Matt Smith fanfic)

Part 28

It was around two o'clock, Stacey and I sat in the living room, our hands now sported to cups of tea.

"You need more than this," she sighed, taking a sip.

I sat in the big brown leather chair, it seemed to get more comfortable with every sit, "What do you mean? I can hardly handle what's happening here," I sighed, waving my free hand about.

"No no, not emotional," she chuckled a bit. "I just mean, all you do is school, and Matt. And now that school has gone to crap," she looked at me and shrugged. "No offense," then continued. "Matt is your main focus, it's just... Unhealthy. I mean, look, I love Jackson and all, but he's not my life. We are twenty, we have more to accomplish than each other. I have to focus on work, and school, and overall; myself." She smiled at me encouragingly, "do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, yeah I do," I took another drink of tea. It really was amazing tea, no wonder Matt had offered it so many times. "So... What do I do?"

"Well, financially, you're screwed," I nodded, and we both laughed at the situation. It was nice to be able to laugh, despite the circumstances. "Some huge funding isn't going to fall from the sky and pay for your school," another sip. "I think you should get a job, nothing too demanding, but you need to start somewhere."

"You're right," and she was.

"I just, it's sad really," she shrugged at my pitifully.

"What is?"

"This whole... Thing, with you... And, this man," she swallowed. "It's like you're completely consumed, what is so... Special, about him?"

I thought about it for a moment, shifted in my chair, my mind... Seemed, empty.

"I'm not quite sure. When I manage to sort it all out into black and white, he just seems like a drunken idiot. He's just this insane man," I set my cup on the coffee table, I thought it out a bit more. "But somehow, he's more than that. I just can't explain it."

"It could just be that he's your first love," she offered.

"No, gosh, I'm far from loving him," I laughed a bit too forced.

"Can you really be that sure?" Again, she gazed upon me with pity in her eyes. I sighed, what is the matter with me?

"It's not first love... It feels more," I flipped my hand around yet again. "Mature."

"I just don't understand," she huffed in frustration.

"Neither do I,"

We gazed at each other for a moment, as if to let it all sink in.

Then the front door clicked.

With a suctioned gasp it opened and closed. Matt now stood in the doorway, shedding is coat as usual and dropping another script onto the counter.

He strode into the hallway, his footsteps sounded for only a moment, then they stopped.

Ever so slowly he walked out of the hallway, spun on a heel and faced us.

"Why, hello," he said a bit confused.

I couldn't stop myself from just... Smiling.

I realized then, that I had missed him. Although it was only a matter of hours, I had missed him.

No said anything for a moment.

"You never told me he was gorgeous," Stacey gapped at Matt, and I felt heat flow into my cheeks.

I was embarrassed to let him know that I'd been talking about him, of course I'm sure he could have guessed that... But still.

"You never told me you were having someone over today Aurora," he seemed humored.