Soulmates (✔️)

Chapter 50

Luke's POV

I stared straight ahead as I walked into the building, as if my body was on autopilot I immediately walked towards the lounging area. I felt gazes on me but, I knew no one knew. No one knew truly what had happened to me or why I was off for weeks without an explanation. Rumours had surfaced but, I was back and everyone could see that. I tugged onto the long army green jumper, I was back to wearing jumpers as it was nearing summer but, no one could question it because I was Luke Brooks and I usually did what I wanted or said what I wanted.

I exhaled a long breath as I fiddled with the bandages that lead to my hands. I in-took small long breaths attempting to calm myself from the overhaul of overwhelming feelings that encompassed me wholly. I stood at the entrance of the lounging area and panicked eternally. I shoved my jumper sleeves to cover my hands and turned swiftly, realising I couldn't face anybody. "Luke?" I ignored the voice and kept walking, keeping my head down. "Luke." I heard the voice again and my walking sped up as my heart began to quicken its pace and hammered against my ribcage. My feet felt numb but, I carried on as my breathing became ragged. My chest pains increased and quite literally I felt as if I had lost all sense of control. I stumbled in my path as the person or people kept calling my name. An excess amount of dizziness hit me and I stumbled once again.

I rested my hand on the wall and noticed an empty classroom. I rushed into it, slamming the door shut behind me. I dropped my bag and crumbled to my knees, and hugged my head. I lay my head in-between my knees and forced myself to regulate my breathing, which didn't work this time. My breathing still came out ragged and my chest pains heightened. I squeezed my head, trying so hard. "Luke baby it's me." A hand clutched mine. "Listen to me, this won't last forever okay? I understand this is hard but, it won't."

"Breathe Luke. Follow us." I heard steady breathing and tried it. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. This carried on for a few moments before, I released my head from in-between my knees. I stared at both of my friends, with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry."  I blubbered as a sob escaped past my lips. "I'm so sorry," I repeated over and over again. "Everyone was moving on with their life and I wasn't. You're all moving forward and I'm here standing still. Stuck. And you thought I was getting better. I thought I was getting better until everything got worse again and I was there and it was there and I was lying in my mother's arms and she was crying. Nothing was getting better. I wasn't fine. I would go on benders and you wouldn't even notice, I didn't expect you to because I never told you everything and I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so fucking sorry I had to put you guys through that. I'm so sorry I pushed you away because all I needed were people at that time and I pushed everyone away because I was always a burden. I didn't want to be a liability. I didn't want to depend on other people." I sobbed on the floor. "I'm so sorry."

"Lu, no!" Kris exclaimed dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around me.

"Don't say shit like that Luke." Tears rolled down Francis' face as he wrapped his arms around Kris and me.

"I'm so sorry."

"Luke, you're a wonderful human being and I just wish I could've done more." Kris cried.

"I wish I saw the signs. I wish I saw that you were relapsing. I'm so fucking sorry Luke." Francis cried.

"PLease don't I'm sorry. It's not your fault."

"Luke, we're not mad at you. We're just deeply upset. We love you, you're my fucking brother if anything and it hurt me a lot. I just want you to get help Luke please." Francis begged.

"I am getting help now."

"What?"

"I'm getting help." I gulped, wiping my tears. "I want to fix my relationships first, my father said I should since you're all important to me and Julie said it would be a good part of the healing process, perhaps find some constants." I sighed slowly.