Chapter 12

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"Josh." I breathe as our kisses get heavier.

"Sorry." He pulls back, smiling slightly.

"I just feel so grateful that I can have you."

I smile, laying my head on his chest.

"Me too." I whisper.

His arms wrap around my waist.

"Do you think we should tell anyone?" He asks.

"No." I answer too quickly.

"I mean- we just got together and we don't want to make a fuss. I'm sure they'll find out anyway, they have their ways." I sigh.

"I guess. But, aren't we serious? It's not a joke."

I gulp.

"Yes, Josh. We are. I'm just saying, the public take lots of things more than they should. I think we should try keep it private for as long as possible. When the time comes we'll-"

"When the time comes? I'm sorry Jen but I don't know when that is. We can't let them figure it out for themselves. What are you embarrased or something?" Josh says sternly, still keeping his temper.

"No, I'm not embarrased. I just broke up with Nick. They don't even know that! How do you think he'll feel? Then what, he'll have to explain everything as usual!"

Josh's heartbeat gets heavier. I'm forced to pull back from him.

He makes his way to the edge of the bed and stands up, leaving me sitting there.

"Of course, so this is all about Nick? I thought you broke up with him because you loved me, it turns out I'm totally wrong." Josh has an angrier tone than before.

"What?! Josh, of course I love you! This isn't about Nick! He will have to explain, and I'll just get more hate for breaking up with him!"

Josh creases his eyebrows.

"Right, so you're worried about hate? Jen, that's the least of your problems. You don't care about hate! Something else is going on; you don't want him to have to deal with everything, when you have to think about all you've done for him!"

"NOTHING Josh! I've done nothing. I've done an awful job of ever loving him. I made promises about things and I broke them."

"Listen, this isn't about love anymore. This is about you not wanting everyone to know about us. Other days, I'd be okay with that, because we just got together. But now I know, the only thing stopping you is Nick; so I'm not very okay!"

Josh clenches his fist, and for a second I think he might do something drastic, but he won't, he's rarely angry. But maybe that's what I'm worried about.

"Well maybe I'm concerned about Nick a little, but I'm allowed to, aren't I? He's my friend!"

Josh takes deep breaths.

"Your friend. You just broke up, he's your ex. I'm not letting you be his friend, at the moment I'm concerned you might fall back into his arms and I'll be alone again."

I feel frustration rush through me, coursing through my veins.

"You're now telling me who I can't be friends with? What is this? You're acting like he's tried to murder me. He did nothing wrong, and I have a right to like him and still catch up with him."

"Forget it then, maybe you can call this off while you're at it." Josh storms out of the room.

I feel tears puddle into my eyes, but I push them away and follow him.

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