The Past Lies Ahead (A Throne Of Glass Fanfic)

Chapter 28

Soon after Aelin succumbed to her exhaustion, her mind plummeted and whirled through the dreams that showed her new things every night. Sometimes they were obscure, hazy visions, but not this time.

«I just wanted to end it for him. You were right — all this time, you were right... I'm sorry.»

She released the lever and pivoted to look up at him.

«I saved my enemy's life today,» she said flatly. She uncoiled to her feet, wiping the water from her face as she met Chaol's gaze. «They tried to shoot my... Rowan through the heart. And I saved her anyway.»

The visions blurred for a moment, writhing and changing shapes. To a vision of herself and the one she loved with her burning heart.

«I love you. I am in love with you, Rowan. I have been for a while. And I know that there are limits to what you can give me, and I know you might need time—»

«I love you. There is no limit to what I can give, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.»

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she opened her eyes and stared up at the darkened ceiling. In Antica Rowan had admitted that they had been lovers, but spoke no more of it. Yesterday, what Sam had said... somehow he knew. But why tell her? Why coax her into remembering?

Aelin rolled out of bed and padded over to the window, hugging herself with her arms and leaned her forehead against the chill of the glass.

How could she ever have forgotten that Rowan was her mate, that they had gotten married? And why had he kept that knowledge from her, why keep it secret?

She sighed. She knew why.

_______________________________________

Sam woke up feeling the mattress shifting slightly as Aelin climbed out of bed. He thought maybe she just needed to go to the bathroom, so kept his eyes close hoping to fall back asleep. But he heard her walk just a few steps, then stopped.

She sighed, and he rolled over to find her leaning against the window.

«What's wrong?» Sam asked quietly from where he lay in the bed. She was quiet for a moment, and just stood there hugging her arms tightly around herself.

«I just... I remember now. What you said yesterday... how did you know?» she said while staring out the window. Sam rose from the bed and shrugged on a shirt, then walked over to where Aelin stood. He crossed his arms and looked out the window as well. She did not move.

«I kind of overheard a conversation between Dorian and Rowan.» he said hesitantly, and glanced over at her her. A small amused smile made her lips tilt slightly upwards.

«I think that's called eavesdropping.» she said jokingly, and he chuckled. Her smile slowly melted away, and she frowned up at him. «But why tell me? Why did you want me to remember that? Which is undoubtedly why you said it the way you did, to make me think about it.»

Her hair cascaded her face as she looked into his eyes, and the golden locks seemed to shine even in the darkness of the room. He stroked a finger across her cheek and tucked her hair behind an ear.

«Because I see how you two work together. When we were planning the attack, you were always in sync, always on the same page. And look at what he did for you, to save you.» she blinked up at him, her mouth slack as she soaked in his words. «I don't doubt that you and I would be happy together, and I do love you Aelin. But I actually think you should choose him, that your life would be... fuller, more complete with Rowan.» she was gaping at him now, surprise lining her eyes. «It's your choice, of course, and I will respect whatever you choose to do.» he said to her softly, a tiny tear fell from her eye and he wiped it away.

«I... I don't know what to do. How can I choose between two people I love?» she said, shoulders slumping slightly. «I don't want to hurt either of you.»

He brought his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. She snaked her arms around his middle, holding him. He had meant it, every word. There would be no jealousy or pain at her leaving him, not for Rowan. «You won't hurt me, Aelin. No matter your choice, I will support that decision.» he whispered into her ear.

She sniffed against his chest, and hugged him tighter. «Thank you, Sam.»

He kissed the top of her head. «Let's get back to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow, and should get as much rest as possible.»

«Not really, everything is ready. We just need to show the witches the places they need to be.» she muttered, and made no move to go back to bed. «Let's just stand here a bit longer.»

Silence filled the room, almost like the whole world had gone to sleep around them. He breathed in the scent of her, felt the softness of her hair against his cheek.

Then she shifted, pulling away enough to look up at him. «You do realize that if I choose Rowan that you won't become king, right?» she said.

For a moment he just looked at her. «Being king was never important for me. I just wanted to be there for you, and if that meant sitting at a throne with you by my side, I would do it.» he smiled at her, and she blinked up at him.

«I understand what you mean. If it had been just me I would have gotten myself a house, maybe a dog, and lead a normal life somewhere. But I will sit on that throne, because the people of Terrasen need me to. I used to be afraid of that, all that responsibility, but... not anymore. At least not as much as before.» She huffed a small laugh, then she bit her lip. «I won't abandon them again..»

«I think I've said this before, but I'll say it again. You will be a great queen, and they will love you when they see what kind of woman you have become.» he said while stroking her back. She raised an eyebrow at him.

«And what sort of woman is that? An assassin, a cowa—» Sam put a finger over her lips, effectively shutting her up.

«The kind of woman who would do anything for her family, for her friends and for her people. They will get a queen who puts the interests and need of her people before herself, and a kind, fair and passionate leader. That's the kind of woman you are, Aelin. You're not a coward, not anymore.» he looked at her sternly. «And the next time you claim to be a coward I will buy a bag of chocolate, and I will sit down and eat it until you apologize for being so silly.»

She narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips. «You wouldn't do that.» she said and pretended to be pouting. He grinned ruefully at her.

«Just try me, Princess.» he said gleefully, and she burst into laughter. And soon he was laughing too, relishing the moment of happiness and he was glad that he finally had been able to talk to her about what they would do from now on. He finally felt at ease, and he could tell that she felt the same way.