The Past Lies Ahead (A Throne Of Glass Fanfic)

Chapter 58

Aelin lay staring up at the ceiling, listening to the calm breathing as Rowan slept soundly beside her. She twirled the emerald ring on her finger, and looked over at Rowan's sleeping form. He had been acting a bit strangely after meeting with his lost love, which made her really wonder what had happened between the two of them today. Sam had stoically tried to make her feel better, but it hadn't really worked. Especially not when Rowan was acting so distant and brooding.

She rolled over so that she faced away from him, and sighed deeply. However she quickly realized that she would get no sleep any time soon. So instead of laying there feeling miserable, she slipped out of bed, threw some clothes on and headed to the library. 

A ball of fire floated above her head, lighting up the many rows of endless books. She slowly made her way deeper into the library, occasionally looking at the books, reading the titles on a hunt for something to get her mind off things. She went on and on until a shuffling sound caught her attention, and she immediately paused to locate where the sound had come from. The sound came again, and this time she recognized what it was; someone flipping the pages of a book. Apparently she was not the only one seeking solace with the company of books. 

Curiosity took over and Aelin went towards the sound on silent feet, and her light flickered out of existence. She turned the corner of a bookshelf almost crashing into a person who had been walking and reading at the same time. Aelin retreated a step and looked up into her own surprised face, or rather the other Aelin's surprised face. A weak light was illuminating the pages of her book.

«Oh, sorry, I almost walked right into you there.» she said, and closed her book. The lighted floated up above their heads, Aelin studied it as it rose. It was a faint constant light, nothing like the flickering flames she always made herself. «I call it stealth light. It's heated air particles, if you were wondering. That's why it's more of a light than an actual flame.» the older on said, and Aelin returned her gaze to her and found her scrutinizing eyes fixed on her face. She was always so intense, in a strange sort of calm way, but still very intense.

«How does that work?» she asked and glanced at the light again. Old Aelin tucked her book under her arm, then held out a hand.

«Reach out with your magic so that you can easier sense what I do, and I'll show you the process. It's delicate, and it might take you a few tries, but it's easy once you get the hang of it.» she said. Aelin did as she was told while Old Aelin began her demonstration. Heating the air until the friction between the air particles were just right, then the glow appeared in her hand. «Now you try.» she said.

«In here? But what if I make a mistake?» Aelin said and glanced at the bookshelves with apprehension.

«Then we run, and pretend we had nothing to do with it.» she said with a low chuckle. «Go on and try.»

She was inclined to actually like her older self, but... well, there was still Rowan. She expelled those thoughts from her mind and instead focused on the spontaneous magic lesson at hand. She copied what she had seen and felt, holding her hand up to have an area to focus on. She scrounged her eyebrows in concentration, carefully heating the air.

«Put a bit more pressure into it.» Old Aelin instructed. So she did and a second later a light pulsed in her hand for a meager three seconds before it exploded. Before the fires reached the shelves, however, they were efficiently seized by Old Aelin and snuffed out. «Not bad for your first try. Good job.» she said, and for a second Aelin could have sworn she saw a glimmer of pride dance in her eyes, or maybe that was just the weak light playing tricks on her.

«What were you reading, before I interrupted you.» Aelin asked. She still felt awkward around the woman, like she had when they met down in the city.

«The Walking Dead, it's the book I first learned about the wyrdmarks and the gates. I just read it for old times' sake.» she said with shrug. The light above them glowed a bit brighter and bigger, revealing two plush chairs and a small table not far from where they stood. Old Aelin sat down, and Aelin followed.

Aelin studied her face, she seemed genuinely nice, maybe she shouldn't be jealous about Rowan wanting her back. After Old Aelin had been through hell to find him again. «I don't know much about that. I remember dreaming about you using them, but I never really understood how it worked.» But she hadn't really paid attention to it either, she had to admit, she almost always focused her attention on the parts about Rowan.

«Well, there's not much time before the battle, but I could teach you a few ward spells. It always pays to have a little extra protection.» she leaned back in her chair, and it felt like she was looking deep into Aelin's soul with her seemingly ageless eyes.. Aelin fought the urge to squirm.

«Sounds useful in a fight, especially against the Valg.» she said,trying to sound more confident than she felt. What would she do if Rowan actually left her? What they had was amazing, but he had been with her thinking that she was... well, that she was the woman sitting before her. She clenched her haw tightly, cursing herself for letting her thoughts wander to Rowan once more.

A hand land on top of her own on the table, and Aelin looked into Old Aelin's eyes. «What's wrong? You're not worried about the lock, are you?»

«No, not at all. Dorian said he would take care of it.» she said, and shrugged. Telling Old Aelin about her insecurities about Rowan was not something she wanted to do. Old Aelin shook her head slowly.

«Not now that I'm here. I'll be taking care of that, and the rest of you lead your armies.» she said determinedly. Aelin blinked in suprise at her future counterpart.

«You really want to do it? But you'll die.» she couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice as she looked at Old Aelin with wide eyes.

«Better that an old woman like me succumbs to the lock, rather than either of you younglings.» she said, «Besides, it was always the plan that I was the one to do it. I failed once, but I will not fail this world again.»

Aelin felt her insides tighten as the guilt gripped her. Here she had been worried about losing her lover to her future self, while Old Aelin had been planning self sacrifice to save them all. «Is there no other way? No one has to die if we find some other way.» she said. Though, time was running out and tomorrow their armies would begin marching on Morath. Aelin bit her lip. It felt like such a waste that Old Aelin had survived the demon for what seemed like many years, only to die shortly after being freed.

«If there is I'll find it.» she said with a strange, unreadable look in her eyes. «You and the others focus on the fighting, while I take care of the lock and the keys.»

Silence fell over them, and Aelin looked at the extremely scarred hand that was still holding her less scarred one on the table. She's very strong, Aelin thought. After everything that had been done to her, she was still fighting with tooth and nail for people who won't even know that she had saved them all.

«Aelin,» Old Aelin said, drawing her attention back to the now. «Just give him some time to think, once he's done brooding he will understand that you are the one he belongs to.» she squeezed her hand. «It will all be alright in the end.» a small smile tugged her lips up as Old Aelin let go of her hand and rose.

«Thank you.» was all she said, she didn't know how else to respond to that.

«You know what? I feel like raiding the kitchens for some chocolate cake, do you want you join me?» Old Aelin's small smile grew wider, and Aelin grinned widely.

«You know I'd never turn down a proposition like that.» Then she too rose, and a second later Old Aelin was embracing her. Aelin blinked in surprise, but quickly brought her arms around the woman in return.

They spent the rest of the night downing the biggest cake they could find in Old Aelin's rooms, and swapped countless stories of their many adventures.

When the sun brought the first rays of morning light, the two queens had finally fallen asleep next to each other in the huge bed, hands clasped between them.