The Past Lies Ahead (A Throne Of Glass Fanfic)

Chapter 57

Rowan's heart was thundering like crazy. Dorian's words rang through his head,  the words he wanted to believe, but couldn't until he could see her for himself. He sprinted through the castle, barely noticing the courtiers he rushed past. He hit the ground floor then set off towards the main entry way, just as the doors opened and someone, stepped inside. He stopped dead in his tracks. 

Aelin motioned for a servant to come over, and asked her to show Evangeline to her rooms, preferably close to her own, before she turned and looked at him. That face. Her face. Then she smiled, a half grin that made her gloriously blue and gold eyes sparkle. Tears welled up in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks.

«Do I need to cut myself to prove that I am me?» she asked, and pulled out a small dagger. Speechless, Rowan just shook his head and stepped up to her, closing the gap between them and pulled her in tightly. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing in deeply, lavender and crackling embers, not even a whiff of Valg scent.«I take that as a no.» she said, and chuckled into his chest.

«It's you, it's you,» he breathed, «but how...»

«Let's go somewhere private and I'll explain everything, Rowan.» she said and pulled away from his embrace, then reached up to wipe away his tears.

She grabbed his hand, pulling him along the hallway without another word. She was... different from what he had expected, she seemed very at ease, actually. He had thought she would be more haunted or hollow from the capture, but she wasn't or maybe she just hid it well. But she was here, alive and free, something he had thought would never truly happen.

He followed as she lead him into a room, her old quarters he realized. They sat down on the couch, and his chest twinged when she sat down beside him but with a full foot distance between them. Her face showed little emotion, save for that small smile that somehow didn't seem to reach her eyes. He frowned as he studied her face, something was not right. His heartbeat was so loud it almost drowned out all sounds, what had happened to her?

«Things have... changed, Rowan. I know that your intention was to reset the timeline to save me, but unfortunately that was not the result and I know why.» she reached out to hold his hand, gently stroking the top of his hand.

She told him what Dorian had hastily, and poorly, tried to explain. She spoke of Zahirs, whom she always referred to as 'the demon', mad obsession for him and how she traveled all over the world to find a way to go after him. Then she explained what had happened to the timeline and why their future did not change when he altered the past.

She fell silent for a moment, searching for her next words. Her gaze became unfocused, distant, as if whatever she was about to say ran deep. She bit her lower lip, then she focused her gaze back on him.

«I tried, Rowan,» sadness filled her ageless eyes, «every time you faced her, but I could never break through. When you disappeared I... I almost gave up because I thought that you died. But the war continued, and Manon, Dorian and Lysandra held the line.» her fingers tightened around his hand, a grim look fell as a shadow over her face. Whatever had happened next...

«She took Lysandra, my best friend.» her voice grew thick, and she swallowed. Dread began to creep up his spine. «That's how she found out that you made the bargain with the gods.» she said silently, eyes once again unfocused. «The demon then abandoned the war to find a way to you. At that point I was ready to just give in, to just disappear. It was too painful, loosing everyone, watching them die... But I knew you were still fighting for me, so I couldn't give in. All I ever wanted was to see you again, just once, I wanted to see you happy.»

He fought the lump in his throat. He couldn't imagine how it had been like, to helplessly watch while friends and family was killed by her own hands...

«I'm sorry, Aelin. I'm sorry I couldn't save you.» he said, voice tinge with sorrow. Her eyes turned tender as she cupped his cheek.

«But you did.» she said mildly. Then she rose from the couch and walked over to the balcony. Rowan frowned, what was she talking about? He rose and followed after her into the balcony where she stood looking into the garden below.

«Aelin, I—»

«Look at her, Rowan.» she said warmly, and he turned to see what she was looking at. The younger Aelin was walking alongside Sam, laughing at something he had said. Happy, carefree, cheerful... «You might not have saved me specifically, but you did save me nonetheless. You'll have more than a thousand years together, and that makes me happy, Rowan.»

His heart skipped a beat, and his breath caught. «But... what about you? I can't—» he said, agitated and more than a little surprised. Did she really think he would abandon her? Why would she think he would ever let her go again?

«The lock Rowan. It still has to be done, but this time you won't lose me, not entirely.» she said calmly. Too calmly, he thought. He frowned as he stared into her eyes, ageless eyes. A look most immortals got after having lived for many centuries...

He slowly shook his head, denying his own thoughts. Her smile deepened, as if understanding what he was thinking, she could always tell what he was thinking. «It's only been seven months...» he nearly whispered. She lay her hand on his chest, feeling his rapidly beating heart.

Her smile deepened, and this time it did reach her eyes, giving her a serene look. «Time is relative, Rowan. The time of our arrivals does not reflect the time of our departures.»

He closed his eyes, and leaned his head down until his forehead rested against hers. «How long?» he asked quietly, still not opening his eyes.

«Do you remember what I always wanted to do? I wanted to travel the world, see new places, meet new people, to explore unknown wonders.» she said, a dreamy look crossed her face. «I got to do that, I've been to every continent, every land, city and library. I might not have been in control of my body, but... it wasn't so bad, travelling with her. We actually did have some good moments over the years.» he flinched back, and gaped at her.

«You befriended the demon.» he blinked at her.

«Friend is a strong word.» she said slowly. «She was an evil bitch, there's no denying it, but there's always some good in everyone. For some it might be small, or hidden well, but no one can be all bad. I spent many years with her, Rowan, and she had many ample opportunities to eradicate me but she never did.»

«She just wanted you to suffer for as long as possible, Aelin.» he grounded out through tight lips.

«Maybe, maybe not. But we both worked together to figure out how to travel through time, we had a common goal after all.» she stepped in, bringing her arms around him. «I knew what she wanted to do to you, but I still helped her figure out the wyrdmarks.» she said quietly against his chest. «I'm sorry.»

He brought his arms around her and held her close, while trying to wrap his head around all that she had said. He swallowed hard. There was still many things to talk about, still many unanswered questions. But that would have to for another day, when things had settled a bit.

«I missed you, Aelin, every day.» he whispered.

He felt her lips tremble against him as she took a deep breath. «I missed you too, buzzard. More than you know.» she said with teary voice, the most emotional he had seen her since they met in the entrance hall. He held her tighter to him, and stroked her back in comforting circles.