20. The Loss

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I wake up to a dry mouth and a banging headache, the way it's been for the last 3 months. Happy New year and all that bull. I slowly sit up and rub my eyes, stretching; my jumper hangs off my shoulders but I barely notice as I head downstairs. I think its almost February but I've lost track. Time means nothing to me anymore.

Mom watches me close. "Bailey that isn't breakfast." She scolds as I grab my large coffee cup and fill it.

" She scolds as I grab my large coffee cup and fill it

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"It fills me up." I mutter.

"Bailey-"

"I gotta go, I'm picking Parker up for an audition." I say in a monotone, grabbing my keys and bag. I climb in the car and sigh, grabbing two painkillers and downing them fast, praying they'll tide me over until I can get a drink later.

Parker climbs in, in his 'zone'. "I'm shitting bricks here Bailey!"

I smile tiredly. "You got this big guy." I kiss his cheek and begin to drive.

He watches me closely. "Nana made you a bunch of brownies if you want them."

My inner demon hums; she deliberates. Maybe one wouldn't hurt? "Hand them over then - maybe you need one to calm your nerves."

"I wish." He sighs as he hands over the bag of brownies. "Did you eat breakfast today?" He asks.

"Mhm."

"Bullshit. Your mom text. I bought you a packed lunch to eat while you wait for me." He says sternly.

I roll my eyes and keep driving, ignoring him as usual. All him and mom do are nag nag nag. Of course I eat, I just don't have much of an appetite. My girlfriend left me for no reason what so ever - barely an explanation except for how sorry she was she met me. How does someone just get over that?

I oull up outside the theatre. "I'll be waiting. Break a leg baby."

"Eat a sandwich, thumbelina." He says sternly as he closes the door. I roll my eyes and find an empty parking lot, sitting in the trunk as I light a joint.

"Haven't seen you for a while..."

I look up and see Bella Swan; she looks almost as ghastly as I do. "Ditto." I mutter as I exhale.

She waves the smoke away. "How... How have you been?"

"Ohh just dandy!" I add a sarcastic grin and dramatic shrug. "How the fuck do I look?!"

She flinches and shies away in her coat. "I know. I know how you feel. It's like there's a gaping hole inside your chest - it's like the life has been sucked out of you - it feels as though I'm a ghost walking along every day with no purpose." Bella takes a shaky breath. "It's like they never existed."

My Heart Beats For You // Alice Cullen Where stories live. Discover now