My Heart Beats For You // Alice Cullen

26. The Expectation

Carlisle drives us back to town before parking in the same car park as earlier. "When are you going to tell her?"

I take a deep breath. "Maybe tomorrow... or tonight. Is she home?"

"She's hunting with Jasper, but she'll be home late. Give her a call and I'm sure she'll come whenever you ask." He smiles.

I nod and smile back. "Thank you Carlisle - I really needed that. Someone to listen to me rather than question me and scrutinise my behaviour."

"You're welcome, B. You're as much of a daughter to me than Alice, Rose and Bella. You're family." He kisses my head and climbs out.

I smile as I climb over to the drivers seat. "You sure you don't want a ride?" I call out of the window.

He smirks as he walks towards the trees. "God gave me legs for a reason." He winks before he disappears.

I giggle small and begin to drive home, not realising how late it is until I see the clock on the dash - crap I'm gonna be grilled when I get home. I sigh and brace myself as I pull into the driveway, already seeing the curtain move as someone peaks out. Here we go...

"Where have you been?" Mom rushes over as soon as I open the door.

I kick my shoes off and hang my jacket up. "Hey mom how was work? Oh really? Cool." I mutter.

"Bailey, I'm serious. Where were you?" She demands. "Have you been drinking or-"

"Oh mom, shut up!" I snap. "You want to do a breath test and drug test every time I leave the house!? Shall I make sure my bladders full every time I enter the house?" I snap, glaring. "I was with Carlisle, and no you can't know where because that's my business. I was actually in a good mood up until 2 minutes ago! Will you let me breathe!?"

She's silent, as is everyone eaves dropping in the living room. "I just care..."

"Don't you think I know that? You sound like a broken record - what happened to trusting me? You swore it wouldn't be like this, this is why I didn't want to come home. How can I stay healthy when you're all suffocating me!? Why are you all expecting me to fail!?" I yell before I storm upstairs.

Okay,  maybe I was just a wee bit intense but I think I got my point across. One of the main points my therapist, Shauna, keeps telling me to do is put my foot down - she says to remind them that I know what I've done but I am an adult, I am incharge of my decisions and my health and thanks you for the concern but please take a step down. Maybe it would have sounded better that way..  but oh well. I close the bedroom door and lock it - yeah dad wasn't happy with that but I need my privacy.

I put some music on low and sit on my bed with a sigh, grabbing my phone. I stare at Alice's name for a moment, debating between texting or calling. Which would be better? A text would be easier to say what I need but it's a little impersonal. A voicemail would be personal, but I'd ramble and stutter... oh fuck it.

I let it dial and take a breath as I hear the beep. "Hey Al it's me... I came to realise something today and I think you would wanna know what. I choose you - over everything. I choose you. I hope it isn't too late... I love you, Mary Alice Brandon. With all my heart. Please call me." I whisper as I hang up, all confidence fizzling away. Did I say the right thing...?

I sigh and turn my phone off, tucking it under my pillow before going to my bathroom. I lock the door and turn the shower on, humming as I feel my tense muscles relax under the hot water, steam filling the room. I take my time washing my hair, shaving, washing my makeup off; anything to waste some time and not be sat alone for so long. Eventually there isn't much for me to do but stand there so I climb out and wrap the towel around myself, wiping the condensation from the mirror. I hear a knock on the other door that leads to Ronnies room.