(18+) Smooth Xscape (Complete)

Ch. 7: I...have to.

Oh, noooooo.....! Seriously?! Did Don Juan have to appear right now? You can't trust him to walk around selling microwaves without screwing every married female we pass! This is the worst timing ever.

The woman in front of us started giggling and blushed tremendously, and her scepticism vanished like snow crystals on a hot summer day.

"Hola. ¿Que quieres?"

"Have you ever made love to a first lover, mi Senora precioso?" he asked with a sudden Spanish accent. Why he kept speaking in English, beats me, but I guessed it had something to do with the need to be all 'alluring and exotic'. In US he spoke Spanish, and in Mexico he spoke English. How logical is that?! But I shouldn't be complaining, though. As long as I could understand what they were talking about, I could live with it. But I mentally wrote a note to myself about buying a dog leash the next time we went to the store, just in case I had to drag him out of the arms of some clingy old cow.

I slapped the back of his head to make him focus.

"Microwave, boy! Sell her a fucking microwave, and stop telling her about ways to breed."

He yelped, and let go of her hand. And after an intense glare from me, he seemed to get my point. Or so I thought, until he turned around to look at me again with confusion written all over his face.

"Okay, fine," I sighed.

"You'll be the translator, okay? Ask her if she needs a new microwave. No, no, no! Make her buy one. Seduce her or whatever the heck your speciality is, but you are not allowed to touch. Do you hear me? No touching!"

He swallowed nervously and nodded.

"¿Pretty Lady, quieres comprar un microonda?"

Good boy. Maybe you can take advantage of him, Gail? If he manages to talk himself into the pants of the ladies, or under the skirt, in this case, he can surely sell microwaves to them too. Right?

The woman answered shortly and shook her head, and I reckoned that meant we should be looking for the next house. But then Don Juan said something that apparently was really funny, because she started laughing so loudly, that I got embarrassed on her behalf.

Goddamnit! She sounds like a dying seal!

But after a little more talk, and me getting bored as fuck, and then... a little more talk... again, she actually ended up buying one anyway. And I had to give it to him; he had the persuasive skills to make a fish buy water on a bottle!

******

We sold three more microwaves that day, until I decided to call it a night. But before we went back to the B&B, we hailed a cab that took us to a Mall, where we could buy clothes and other necessities. Then we agreed on having a proper dinner at a restaurant, as long as he promised to behave. And he really tried too. At least for a while. But as soon as he was done eating, his eyes started to flicker around in the room. So, to get his attention, I cleared my voice and waved my hand in front of his face.

"Earth calling."

"The Earth and it's beautiful scenery has got a lot of beautiful flowers waiting to blossom," he said with an absent look in his eyes.

"That might be, but the only one you're smelling is mine," I answered dryly. But my cheeks heated up and my eyes widened, when it occurred to me what I'd said.

"Wait. That sounded really wrong! I meant that..."

But he wasn't interested in what I said anyway.

"My dream is for every one of these heavenly colored roses to find their true value and be loved with such passion that their body elate into a state of shivering euphoria."