(18+) Smooth Xscape (Complete)

Ch. 15: Divinity in Motion

I studied Joe while I was chewing on the insides of my cheeks.

This isn't Joe anymore. It can't be. He doesn't walk that way. Just look at the way he swings his hips! He's more feminine than you, Gail!

I cleared my voice and decided to just jump into it.

"Uhm... Excuse me? Who ARE you?"

"Me?! I'm Michaela Divinity in Motion Jackson. But the real question is, who are YOU?! You look like a homeless."

Because we are!!!

"Michael..a...Divinity...in...Motion..."

"Jackson. That's right. But you can call me Diva like everyone else."

"E-everyone e-else...? Uhm... Who?"

"Aw, ya' knaw... Lady Gaga, Tyra, Rihanna, Kim..."

"I ask again; who?"

"Banks and Kardashian? Helloooo?! Where have you been the last century?"

I just stared blankly at her.

"So, where's the limo?"

"Come again...?"

"The limo? You know; sequins, diamonds, Cristal....?"

"Ain't no such thing around here, doll," I grunted sourly, and started to walk slowly down the graveled road, cursing silently in pain.

Now you understand why Joe preferred to wear those tight boots, instead of walking around in just his sock. This fucking hurts!

"So whatzupwitu, gurl? What's your plan?"

He... Or she... trotted up behind me, while she tried to fix her hair.

"Gosh, my hair is all over the place. It gets so frizzy when it air dries like this, I just can't. Where is my John Frieda when I need it?! There's so much more to silicone than breasts, I tell ya'. But you prolly won't know, because you don't seem to care that your breasts are kind of small. But don't worry. They match your petite frame."

"What the fuck did you just say?!"

"I said they were... Uhm. No, seriously. Don't think about it. Your ass weighs up for that. Literally."

I stopped and glared furiously at her.

That's it! I already hate her!

"I'm not sure if I heard you correctly, but did you just call me fat?!"

"What?! No! Your ass kicks ass! For sho! It's nice and juicy, and not flat and saggy as most women your age."

"WHAAA....? My age...?!? How old do you think I am?! And why the hell are we discussing my breast size and ass? Change of topic please!"

"Okay, okay. Touchy subject there, I see? S' fine. But do you mind telling me where we're going?"

I yelped when I stepped on a sharp stone and limped for a few feet, and that didn't go unnoticed by Michaela. Of course it didn't...

"You're such a wuss. You should've felt the pain in my feet, when I strode around in my shimmering, five inches Jimmy Choos on Michael Kors' fashion show under the fashion week in Milan. Honest to God, I was this close to dying!"

She held her thumb and index finger up to dramatically demonstrate just how bad it was.

Please tell me that this is all in his imagination...! Please tell me that he never went anywhere dressed in high heels and a woman's dress...!!!