(18+) Smooth Xscape (Complete)

Ch. 45: BAD Mama

It didn't help... In fact I barely got to close my eyes, before Annie started crying for no apparent reason. Applehead was in the other end of the room, so he didn't do anything. To her, at least. But he had found the box of band-aid's and had started unwrapping them and stick them to random places.

"Applehead! No!" I yelled, before I got out of bed and picked up Annie. I had no idea how to handle this new situation, but I knew we had to get out of here. Fast. So, we did. Kind of...

First Applehead hid the car keys. They were later found, neatly wrapped in a paper tissue with a Mickey Mouse band-aid on, under the bed. Then Annie had an explosion in her diaper, and needed to change from head to toe. And while I did that, Applehead started complaining about the ice-cream I'd promised him, and I finally managed to get him to eat a whole bun, that was sliced into small pieces, by promising to buy him that ice-cream, if he was a good boy and helped me with Annie's baby carriage and our luggage. But I was quick to keep him from running off with the baby carriage, in fear of what could happen to Annie. So instead I made him help with our suitcase. It was on wheels anyway, so it wasn't that heavy. Not like that really mattered. He was an grown man, for crying out loud! But whether he was adult or not didn't help much, because in the elevator on our way down, he managed to unlock it, so all our clothes fell out on the elevator floor, including our underwear! Of course, he did... And then he got so startled when I yelled at him, that he backed into the emergency button and made the elevator stop. Which wasn't a very bad thing, since it left me some time to pick up our stuff before people could see. But then we had to wait almost fifteen minutes for someone to restart the elevator, so we could get out. And I was really, really grateful to keep Applehead from crying while we walked the walk of shame, down to the lobby, signing the keys back and out to get our car.

"Yeeeyyy!!! I got to ride shotgun!" he squealed, as I put Annie into her car seat to loud objections.

"You should be glad we don't have a shotgun anymore, snotbag," I muttered to myself, before I sat behind the wheel and fastened the seat belt on both Applehead and me.

"Are we gonna get ice-cream now? Please? I want ice-cream!"

"Yes, we can buy ice-cream, if you stop poking at everything. Don't touch that! That's the air condition. Not that either! That's... Applehead!! Stop touching things! Seriously! Do I have to tie your hands up?!"

Calm down, Gail. He's just a child. He doesn't know any better. Yeah, but it would be so much easier to strap him in a children's car seat in the back, where his long tentacle arms didn't reach anything dangerous.

"If you want ice-cream, kiddo, then sit on your hands until I say."

I drove off, and it lasted about halfway down the block, then he was all over the place again. He opened the car window and was about to climb out, before I managed to yank him back inside and turn on the window locks. Then he poked my ear so I yelped, and took off his seat belt before we even came to the next crossroad.

"Listen carefully, bugger!" I hissed, after parking the car halfway on the sidewalk.
"We're not getting anywhere if you can't sit still! Jesus Christ! What am I going to do with you?!"

I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel trying to come up with something smart, but the only thing I came up with, was to drug the bastard, get to Andorra, and check in at some random hotel somewhere, while praying that one of Michael's other personalities would come through. This wasn't any fun at all!

"I have an idea, Applehead. What do you say about having two ice-creams?"

"Really?! Two?? Yeeey! You're the best mommy in the world!"