The GIRL in the YELLOW summer dress

Part 20 - Love

KHUSHI

Ask anyone who's ever been admitted into a hospital, the hospital bed was the worst place you could ever be, firstly because you don't feel good at all, plus there's nothing around that can make you feel any better.

I was watching TV, switching channels and doing all I could to keep my mind off Arnav but every time it ended up running back to him.

The fact that right now he was on a date with Aria was making me feel so much of things I dint want to feel, plus they weren't right to feel either.

"What's up, you seem lost?" Shrey asked as he pulled out a chair and settled down beside me.

"Nothing, it's just too boring here, when am I going back home?" I asked.

"Soon." He smiled at me as he got hold of my hand and looked at me, trying to make me feel better but honestly, right now it wasn't even about being in the hospital or this place being boring, it was about all the things that were going on in my mind.

They made me realized that I had trapped myself in some sort of crossroads where I dint know what was right and what was wrong.

"Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" Shrey asked

"No, I'm fine Shrey, I don't need anything."

"Are you sure, because I can really feel like there's something bothering you but you don't want to tell me about it, you know you can always share anything with me."

"Shrey, I said I am fine, I just want to be alone for a while, how hard is that to understand for heaven sake?" I looked at him angrily.

He dint say anything after that, instead he just stood up and walked away and I was left feeling guilty of the way I had talked to him.

I had never talked to him in that tone, not even when I was really pissed at him, but today everything had changed, nothing was as normal as it used to be.

There was a lot going on in my life at the moment that had me really disturbed and I dint know whom I was going to explain to, firstly I found out my husband was cheating on me and even though he really wasn't, it had broken me and then the news of cancer just broke me apart completely.

I was scared, I dint know whether I was going to survive or not, it was like my life was balancing between life and death at the moment and all I wanted to do was live, I had just lived half my life, there was a lot I had planned for the future, there were a lot of dreams I still had to fulfil and I was just so scared.

I was scared that I was going to die maybe and I dint know what was going to happen after that, I dint want to die yet, not at such a young age, and no matter how much I kept on repeating in my mind that everything was going to be okay and I was going to survive, there was a part of me that was really scared.

I kept on having repeated anxiety attacks about dying and it scared the hell out of me, I couldn't even explain the feeling of stress, fear, anxiety and what not.

As if that wasn't enough yet, now there was one thing more to worry about, Arnav and Aria, I don't know why but even though I acted so cool about it in front of Arnav, it did bother me, so much that I was behaving opposite of what I was.

The door opened a few minutes later and Shrey walked back inside with some ice cream, he handed me mine and he sat down again as he concentrated on eating his ice cream.

"I am sorry Shrey, I just don't know what's happening to me or why I'm behaving like this with you." I pouted as I looked at him sadly, I hated getting out my anger on him, all he was trying to do was for me, and I was being terrible to him for no reason at all.