The GIRL in the YELLOW summer dress

EPILOGUE

ARNAV

Have you ever lost someone you loved so much? At times it doesn't even feel real, you just hope that it's a nightmare and you're going to wake up and it's all going to be over but what happens when you realize it's not a nightmare but reality?

Losing Khushi was like losing a part of me that I dint even know existed but now that it was gone, I dint know how to survive without it.

It was painful, it was heartbreaking, it was a sort of ache in my heart that refused to go no matter what I did to make it go away, but did I really want it to go?

You've ever experienced that kind of pain where it hurts, so freaking much but you don't want it to go away, you want to keep feeling it because it's the only way you can feel alive, by hurting.

Some days were worse than others, one day I would just sit in a corner of my room silently and pretend like life dint exist and someday I wanted to scream out loud because the pain was unbearable.

I guess after Khushi left, I dint want to move on, not even one part of me wanted to move on because every ounce of me loved her so much that the only way I feel I could be connected to her was by feeling this pain.

People say time heals all the wounds, I don't agree, time heals only the wounds we want to heal, the rest are always buried deep down inside our hearts waiting for a perfect time to come out and make us realize they never healed.

Meredith Grey was right when she said Losing love was like organ damage, it was like dying, the only difference was that death ends, this, it could go on forever because it had been an year and trust me it was still going on.

Today was the worse day of all because today was the same day exactly a year ago when we lost her, when I saw her for the last ever time, I still couldn't believe that I was never ever going to see her again, the image of her lifeless body still haunted me, although a part of me was waiting for some sort of miracle to happen and who knew maybe she would show up alive out of nowhere?

A knock at the door of my room disturbed my thoughts, I stood up immediately and rushed to open the door, Shrey was standing there looking as sad as me.

"It's time, we need to go." He said in a low voice, I nodded as I grabbed the car keys from the stand and followed him outside.

After Khushi passed away, I moved into Shrey's apartment because that's what he wanted, he dint want to live all alone in this place where he had so many memories with her, and trust me, neither did I want to live alone after losing her and anyway I guess that's what Khushi would have wanted too, for Shrey and I to be with each other like we always had been.

So I moved here and it got a lot easier actually, we went to work together and tried to do a lot of things together hoping that maybe one day life would get back to being normal, only if it was easy to feel normal without her, Khushi was the kind of a girl that lightened up our world, and now without her, there was nothing left but a dark world we had drowned ourselves in.

There weren't always the bad days though, there were days when we knew we could make through all of this and continue living our lives but the bad days were just more compared to the good ones.

We got in the car as Shrey started driving while I looked out of the window silently, we rarely talked because there was nothing we could really talk about so most of the times we were just silent.

"You okay?" Shrey asked looking at me in concern.

"Trying to be, you?" I looked at him, he inhaled a deep breath.

"Trying to be." He replied.

*****

We both sat in front of our therapist looking at her silently as she set up her laptop for God knows what, she was dressed in a beautiful red sari with some floral design over it, she had her brown hair cut into a bob, she looked like she was in her early thirties. Once she was settled, she looked at the both of us with a smile, she looked like a happy kind of a person, just like Khushi was until things changed.