Book I: I'll Be Your Melody

Maybe Someday

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Amy POV

I find myself back in our house, I was running towards the street, I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I rush out of the house.

I suddenly stopped when I saw a blinding light heading towards my direction and I felt someone pushed me as I fall down.

I heard a loud screeching and someone screaming.

I woke up with my face full with tears. I sat up and silently cry as I try to comfort myself that I should stop blaming myself, but I couldn't. It's all my fault.

It's always like this, I never stopped dreaming about this, that sometimes I'm scared to go to sleep, scared of relieving that moment over and over again.

Mom.

The simple thought of what happened always haunt me. I will never stop blaming myself for what happened.

I stayed like that for almost an hour, when I finally calm down, I looked at the clock. It's only 7:00AM, I don't have an actual plan for the day, it's Sunday and its not like I have anyone to meet.

My eyes spotted the coat folded neatly at the couch at the side of my hotel room. I remembered the note the guy left for me.

Call me.

I honestly don't know how he thinks I can call
him. I searched his coat for any clues, hoping there would be something in the pocket. She only found a scribbling on a piece of paper.

Your hands that touched me
Your voice that called me
It's still so clear,
it still lingers around me

Why didn't I try my best
When you were here?
If I was stronger
I would've held onto you till the end

Even when I'm doing well, without much thought
The forgotten memories come back as a dilemma
Me with you and me without you
Are two entirely different people, just know that
All these illusions make the musty air thicker
First time first love it was really good for the first time

But it became a mess, as if we were at war
But some day

Some day, let's meet again on a better day
Let's be more happy, more cool
Like the ocean with waves
Let's meet again, I'll wait for us
Let's be more happy, more calm
Some day, under the heart fluttering sunlight

On the day I let you go
Because of my foolishness, I blamed you
I resented you and hated you
Because it hurt so much as if I was being ripped apart
I erased you now I know I can't turn things around now
I was a fool who didn't know – When I'm not the me
of the young days – When I become stronger
If only I could hold your hand again, please

I'll be honest, I really regret it
I only had to say one thing, I'm sorry
I'll be honest, I admit it was my fault
Because of me, we split apart
Now I'll tell you, I'm truly sorry
I pray that we can see each other again
I pray for you every night and day
Hoping to see you face to face again someday

She doesn't have the faintest idea what that scribbling note is for, it looks like a poem or some lyrics of a song. Maybe that guy is a writer or something, or maybe he's supposed to give it to his girlfriend, but the note sounded more like a break up note.

It's a bittersweet note, maybe that's why he looks serious that time or maybe he's always that serious. He looks kinda sad, well I would be if I was about to break up with someone.

I suddenly felt bad for him, I can feel his emotions in the note, I can feel how hurt he is, how he seemed to be in a pit of regret, hoping that someday they can be together again, when he can make everything right.

I guess it takes one to know one.

I felt my heart getting heavy again with all the emotions in the note in his pocket. I wish I can ask him how did it go, was he able to break up with her?
Does he think the hurt will end eventually? Is he okay?

I decided to get up, I need to be sorrounded by people. I cannot stay in my hotel room, I would just cry myself out. I need to be distracted.

I went inside the bathroom, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I cringe when I got a good look at my face. My eyes are red and puffy from all the crying I did. I laugh bitterly at how my eyes became smaller than it usually is.

My ex boyfriend always joke that I won't be able to see anything anymore if I cry as it makes my eyes smaller.

Wow, I haven't thought of him in a while.

He seemed like a distant memory nowadays, if only I didn't met him, maybe it didn't happened, maybe.. too many maybes.

I shake away his memory and head to the shower. I turned on the water and as the water fall down to my face, I felt my tears fall down my face again. This kind of dream always got me. It got me real bad

I guess this will never end, at least for me. I envy the guy and his letter/note. It was sad and bittersweer but there was hope in there. I wish I could have it too.

Maybe... someday.. sunlight would shine on her life once more.. Just maybe...

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Author's Note
This is a bit of a short chapter, I guess too much emotion for me to handle.

The note is the english translation of BTOB's song Someday, written and compose by Im Hyunsik.