I dreamed of Mom. We were in her garden at our house, we were tending to her flowers. She was humming a song, she's smiling at me. She felt so real, it felt so real, I feel like I am back to my old life. I feel like she was still alive and my family is still happy. I smiled back at her, I felt so happy, and then blood started to streaming down her face. I screamed and then I woke up crying.
Memories of the night of the accident came rushing through my mind, my Dad slapping me, Mom's funeral. All the pain comes back. It's like a reality check.
Did I dream of this because, finally there is someone out there who makes me feel happy, someone who love me enough to accept the baggage I have?
"I love you.." Hyunsik's declaration of his feelings keep playing in my head. I want to reach out to him, to tell him what I feel, but I can't. I dont know how.
I wanted to scream at someone. Why can't I just be happy for once. Just this once, can the universe allow me to be happy? To be loved?
I contemplate for a while, my head is saying I can't be happy, that everytime I tried I will be reminded of what happened, but my heart is telling me to try. Try because this is different, that he is different.
I got out of bed, I searched for my phone. It's drained. I don't remember what time I fell asleep. Hyunsik called me and made me listen to what he's working on, I fell asleep listening to his voice.
I laugh sarcastically, falling asleep with his voice must have induced those nightmares.
Or maybe you are overthinking? I told myself. I closed my eyes and I heard Hyunsik's voice in my head.
Stop blaming your self!
You're Mom would be miserable if you had died.
I will be your star.
I will be your light.
What if Hyunsik is right?
I plugged my phone and turn it on, as soon as it open, it beep a few times. Messages keep flooding in.
➡️ Goodnight? ➡️ Sleeping already? ➡️ Hahaha I guess you fell asleep. I finished the song. Good night 😘
I felt my cheeks burning when I saw his kissing emoticon.
➡️ If in case you have a bad dream, think of me, remember I am you star. I will be shinning brightly to light your way.
Is he a psychic or something? How did he know I might have nightmares?
I opened the picture he attached in his message.
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His message somehow lift up my mood. I closed my eyes once more and said a little prayer to my Mom.
Mom, I'm really sorry. Just this once Mom. Please, let me hold on to him. Please....
I heard a knock at my door. I wipe my tears and tell them to come in. It's Jem.
"Hi Ate, are you Okay? We thought we heard someone screamed." she said as she walk to my bed.
"I just had a bad dream. Why are you guys up so early?" I asked as it is only 7:00am.
"They are gathered at the living room, sorting out the freebies we would hand out later."
I nodded at her, and decided to get up and help them. After all we waited for this to happen, all seven of us be able to attend BTOB concert together.
Jem and I went out of the living room, posters, photocards and banners are scattered on the floor. Ellen and Jona slump on the floor counting the photocards, Tin and Rielle checking on the banners. Val is hovering like a general with her notepad crosschecking everything.
I laugh at the sight in front of me, they look so serious and focus. They all look at me and grin.
"This is it Ate, I'm so excited!" Jona said while squeeling.
"Are you going to the venue with us Ate or Hyunsik Oppa picking you up?" Val asked while looking at her checklist.
"It's fine Ate if you go with him, as long as he make sure to bring us to the backstage later" Ellen said grinning at me.
"Yah! You don't care if I'm with you? You all think about that backstage pass?" I exclaimed at them.
"Yes Ate!" they said in a chorus. I laugh at them.
"If Hyunsik Oppa won't bring us backstage, we will lock you up in your room, he will never see you again ever!" Rielle said dramatically.
We all laugh at her. Since they said they can manage it themselves, I went to the kitchen to cook us breakfast. I fried some bacon and eggs and made fried rice, I made some toast for those not eating rice.
I head back to my room to get my phone. Hyunsik already send me a few messages.
➡️ Should I pick you up later? ➡️ Still sleeping? ➡️ Wake up sleepy head, I miss you. ➡️ I guess you're still sleeping ➡️ Good morning ☺️
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I quickly type him a message before he flood my inbox.
⬅️ Good morning, Mr. Clingy 🤪 ➡️ You're finally awake!😍 ⬅️ I was cooking breakfast ➡️ Wonder when can I taste that 🤔 ⬅️ Hahaha 🤪 ➡️ So, should I pick you up? ⬅️ No, it's fine I'll go with the girls, I just see you there ➡️ Okay, by the way my parents would be there
Wait, does he mean he want me to meet them or is he just informing me? Isn't it way too early? What are we anyway? We kissed, he said he loves me. Are we together now?
➡️Hey.. don't worry, I want you to meet them because I want to tell you who I am. I'll explain later. I also want you to meet someone important to me. ⬅️ Okay. See you. ➡️ See you at the concert
I don't know what he meant about telling me who he is. My mind is focus on the fact that he might introduced me to his parents. How would they treat me? What would they say about me? I am not Korean, I am just someone their son met a few weeks ago. What would they think about that fact. Would they hate me? Would they like me?
Im Hyunsik!!!!! Why are you making my mind crazier than it already is!
I groaned and open the closet and find something presentable to wear. Bye jeans and hoodie.
