I look up at the sun up at the sky and put my hands in my face to block my eyes. I smiled at my own silliness. I look at my sorrounding and see families, kids playing, running around the park. I can see kites everywhere being flown by kids and couples. Hmmm, maybe I should asked Hyunsik if we could do that too. I smiled excitedly at the idea.
Last night, while we are at the Han River Park, I asked Hyunsik if we could go out on a date. A real date. We mostly tour around Seoul and sometimes we go out with the girls. I told him I want to do what couples do, walk hand in hand in a park, ride bicycles, feed each other, goof around or watch movie. Lastly, I want to end our date at Namsan Tower.
So here we are at Yeoido Park, I glanced at the bicycle parked beside me. Hyunsik thought I wanted to ride the two seater one, he laughed at me when I said I want to ride at the back while hugging him. I told him that's what I watch on k-drama.
"I was so glad your ex-boyfriend was an idiot because I get to do this with you." he said as he pinched my cheeks, which is his favorite thing to do aside from kissing me whenever he wants to.
Going on a date with him feels so different than what I had experienced. Well I only have one experience though and it wasn't much. With my ex, I always have to look good, we go on dates at expensive restaurants, watch movies, and he doesn't like public display of affection. Maybe I was so blinded at that time that I don't mind that we look like acquaintance going out after a while than a couple going out on a date.
Whereas with Hyunsik, we can just eat on a street, munching on fishcakes and be laughing at each other and be happy. He never let go of my hands when we're together unless he decides he wants to put his arms around me, basically saying I'm with this girl and she's mine.
With Hyunsik, I don't have to mind how I look, I don't have to put on a make up to look presentable and decent. He looks at me with love in his eyes.
I wish, I met him first. Maybe things would be different, I know Mom would love him, I guess any mother would do.
Lately, I've been thinking about Mom a lot. I still feel guilty over her death, it still makes me scared. I'm scared that I might cause Hyunsik harm, that I hurt people that I love. I don't want to hurt him.
He came back looking worried at my teary-eyed expression. He went to the coffee shop to get us coffee. Hanging out with him means having coffee everyday. I smiled at him and convince him that I am fine.
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He put out the picnic mat from the basket he was carrying.
When we decided to go on a date in the park, he said we should have a picnic, so I volunteered to prepare snacks for us.
I made some kimbap with the girls last night, but since we only learn how to make it on youtube, I told Hyunsik not to expect much. Hahaha. He ate it happily though. I bet his just hungry.
