Pawn

Chapter 65

9 MONTHS LATER

🎶 You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away 🎶

It's just another regular day for me singing to my unborn. It's one of my favorite things to do besides rub on it, my belly has gotten so large it looks like I'm about to pop. Over the past few months, I've grown to my baby. At first I wasn't so sure about becoming a mother but now I'm excited.

It wasn't like this in the beginning. The first few months were very rocky for me. Some nights, I would sit and stare up at the sky trying to convince myself that none of this was happening, I was questioning if I had gone crazy.

I couldn't even say Drennon's name without bawling all over the place. I had to get adjusted to him not being around me. I still miss him. I don't cry anymore I mainly get lost in my thoughts. A day doesn't go by that I don't think of him. I try to keep myself busy so I won't be stuck all day thinking of him.

I picked up a hobby to do, sewing. I haven't sowed since high school so I was rusty starting out. I would do it whenever I felt my mind linger towards Drennon. It a lovely hobby to do, it keeps me calm. Being that I'm due any day, I make little footies and hats for the baby.

When I was about four months along, I finally found out what I was having. I had Lee come alongside me to find out too, I'm having a boy. Lee was more happier than me hitting the cabbage patch dance everyday. I can't lie, as much as I wanted a girl in the back of my mind I was hoping for a boy. I know Drennon would be so happy. This wouldn't be his first child but it would've been his first chance at fatherhood.

Everybody's been doing their part with helping me out. Bakari found an apartment closer to me and Tommie so he could be closer. I've been there a few times, it's really nice. He can't wait to be a uncle. Almost every week he's buying baby stuff, from toys to diapers. I tell him he's done enough but doesn't listen. He stills runs out and get things. He even bought one of those pacifiers that comes in the form of a grill.

Lee is the same way. She went out and got one of those cars that when my baby gets older, he can ride in. It was almost $400. I wanted to take it back and give her money back but just like Bakari, she didn't listen and told me not to worry about money. Money is not the worry, I don't want everybody going overboard when I'm not due until another few days maybe weeks. The only sane one is Tommie.

She spends a little here and there on the baby but what she mostly spends is her time with me. Helping me keep my head clear and teaching me spiritually to rely on God. I thank her for opening up that door to show me that. Without it, I probably would be really crazy.

I talk to God everyday. He's my personal journal. I have this rocking chair that I sit in when I go outside and I just spend hours rocking back and forth talking to God. Letting the wind flow through the air.

I talk to my baby my baby too. I let him know about Drennon. Even though he can't hear me from inside my stomach, I still let him know who he is. Sometimes I think he is listening. He'll kick me every once in a while if I say Drennon's name. I can tell already this little one is going to be a hand full.

Lee still is persistent on me to name him Draco. I have told her time after time I'm not. But to please her and get her off my nerves about it, I told her it could be a nickname for him. That, I will let her do.