Somewhere In Neverland (Sequel to Oh, Calamity)

Dear Maria Count Me In

In light of the recent tragedy of Robin Williams' suicide (and the fact that my story can become very triggering at times), I'd like to remind all of you who may be struggling to use your resources. By that, I mean trusted friends and websites and the national suicide prevention line, which can be reached by telephone at 1(800)-273-8255. Also, feel free to privately message me. I've seen it all, and believe me, you have the option to get better.

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Alex's POV:

I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of beeps and crying. I was hooked up to machines like some sort of robot. Where was I, and what time was it? And did anyone know? Why hadn't I died? Why did I decide to kill myself in the first place?

But it was all in the backburners of my brain in a split second. Marina, who was crying with her face down on my stomach looked up. A smile illuminated her face, yet she still cried.

"Alex!" She bounced up tp hug my neck. Her smile disappeared. "Why did you-"

"Kiss me." I begged.

"What?"

I yanked my body up to attach my lips to hers, holding her. It ripped a few of the IVs from my arm, and although it burned, I couldn't have cared less. Tears stung my eyes. "I missed you so fucking much!"

"I missed you, too!" She bent down and kissed me again. "You asshole! How fucking dare you? You scared the living shit out of me!" She kissed me again. "You scared me so bad!"

"I was scared, too." I kissed her. "I was scared, and that's why I did it. That we were never gonna get out of this rut."

"Alex, I swear to god I'll get down on my knees and worship you if it means this can stop!" She cried into my neck. "I love you so much, I don't know what I'd do without you!"

"This is gonna end, Marina, but not this way." I started to really bawl. "Not by me tapping out, okay? We're gonna make it! I promise you-" I kissed her again. "I swear to god we're gonna make it!"

A nurse came running in. "Put these back in, Mr. Gaskarth." She set the IVs back in my arm. "Dr.Barker wants to speak with you, privately." She glared at Marina, then left.

A guy that must've been the doctor walked in. "Hey, Alex, I think we need to talk about some things. Marina, would you mind waiting outside?"

"Of course." She replied, then kissed me once more and started walking away.

"No, wait, can I have her in here?" I begged.

"I'll be right outside the door, Alex. I swear, even if it takes eternity." She said, then left. I trusted her.

The doctor pulled up a chair and sat with a clipboard. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

"Not really." I said.

"I just worked my ass off to keep you alive, and that's all you're gonna give me?" He said. I remained silent. "You should've seen your girlfriend when we revived you the second time. She was so happy. She begged me to let her stay in here until you woke up. Frankly, I wasn't sure you were going to."

"She's not my girlfriend; she's nearly my wife." I corrected. I took an exhale. "Fine, I'll talk. But only for her sake. Where do you want me to start?"

"Just by answering some questions, that's all." He said. "So this isn't your first suicide attempt. Why did you do your last one?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story. Marina and I had been going out for about a year at the time, and then one day, I flipped out and was a complete asshole and we broke up. And it was a really, really nasty breakup. We literally didn't talk for two months. And during that two months, my manager came to me and said we would be touring with her band in the near future. I was so scared to see her again that I drank myself into oblivian and attempted suicide. But I was so happy that it failed. Still, to this day, rubbing alcohol is the most triggering thing in the world." I explained it all.