It was an evening in early November, I know that because I can vividly remember seeing the fireworks several nights before, colourfully exploding in the night sky. Ronit and I had been in her bedroom for an hour or so already, we hadn't done anything yet; we were so accustomed to it now, we were in no rush. She smoked out of the window and I watched her from the bed; the tinny radio played sad love songs. The house was deserted; the Rav was at one of his counsels or study groups or leading evening prayers. I didn't care where he was, I just knew that Ronit and I were alone.
'Those boys,' Ronit began, swilling the smoke into the freezing air outside. 'From the sec school over the big road, did you see them today?'
'In the playground?'
'Mm. They got moved away from there. But I followed them afterwards.'
I sat up, curious.
'They were heading back to the bus stop, and I called after them. They laughed at my uniform, but I told them to shut up.'
'Why did you go after them?'
She shrugged and stubbed the cigarette out on the stonewall outside, then dropped the butt into a tin can she kept on the windowsill.
'I asked them for a cigarette, and they gave me one. They told me that they were having a party in Mornington tonight, under the bandstand.'
'Oh... are you going?'
'No, it's too cold.'
Some nerves in my stomach settled. 'It is cold.' I agreed.
'It would be fun though, I bet. They said they'd have rum.'
I didn't know what to say, I wanted to go to her and kiss her, but I didn't feel like she was in the right mood.
'God, I feel like I'm suffocating.' Ronit pushed herself away from the window and stood up. She was wearing the remnants of her school uniform, minus the blazer and the skirt. Her black tights covered her long pale legs.
'Because of the smoke?'
'No.' She scowled. 'Because of this fucking place.' She paced the room slowly. After a while she said, 'Do you want to see something?'
I nodded and rolled up my shirt sleeves. She hurried to her tall wardrobe, wrenched open the doors and pulled a sorry looking rucksack from it, with broken straps and frayed threads hanging from the zips.
'I got this, the other day. I went into the charity shop, I got it for £3.' She looked so pleased with herself. 'And then, do you remember when I said I was going to the library?'
'Yes.'
'Well,' she was smiling so broadly, it made me smile too. 'I did actually go to the library, but I went to find out where the American embassy was.'
My smile faded slightly.
'So, then I went there, and I spoke to this man. He was so cool, Esti. He was like really American; his accent was so funny.'
'Why did you go there?' I asked, already knowing and dreading the answer.
She sat on the bed. 'I asked how to get there.'
'What did he say?'
'Well, it's so funny, and ironic kind of... because I'm Jewish, I can get over there on some weird transfer programme between synagogues or something. But I told him I'd rather die than go and be a part of another community and he just laughed and said: "well once you're there, you're there". He said if I got a job, then I'd automatically be on a new type of... visa... I think it was.'
