'I just worry the flat will be too small for everyone.' Esti said, stepping over Daniel's train set to hand me the milk bottle. 'Daniel, can you come and tidy this up please?'
'You? Worrying? I won't hear of it.' I scoffed as I took it from her. It warmed the tips of my fingers as I held it for Leah's greedy mouth. When she started drinking, she stopped squirming and whining and immediately went silent. I knew the summer weather was making her rattier, she'd fallen back into her old habits of waking up every few hours during the night.
'I know, worrying. It's so unlike me.' Esti slumped next to me and sighed. With a light touch, she stroked my leg.
'I don't think it's the size of the flat that's worrying you, if I'm being honest.'
'No,' she paused. 'You're right.'
'It'll be fine, darling.' I said with a yawn, shifting Leah in my arms so that my leg was closer to Esti's hand.
She threw her head back and laughed. 'You say that about everything.'
'That's because I know it will be fine.'
'It's just... it'll be a collision of worlds, won't it? Aren't you the slightest bit nervous about it?'
She was talking about Daniel's birthday party that weekend. She'd been worrying nonstop since I mentioned it a few weeks ago. We had just tucked him into bed when she'd casually mentioned inviting his friends from school over for a party and a sleepover.
'I think he should have his family around on the day too.' I had said, recalling his past few birthdays in which he'd seen Dovid on separate days, spending a few days celebrating away from me and Esti. 'I think we should all do something together. Dovid, Shayna and Jessica can come here for once. Audrey and Ed will be in the country too. It'll be nice.'
The colour had immediately drained from her cheeks and her anxious lips twisted into a grimace.
'What?' I asked. She had started nervously tidying.
'Why do you want that?' She asked, dropping colourful toy blocks into a wooden chest that now permanently resided in the living room.
'Because... we're all family, aren't we?'
'But we're so good at keeping it... separate.'
'Why should it be separate?'
'I'm surprised this is coming from you.' She said looking up at me.
'I've had a few years to think it over. You said it yourself once, he should make decisions for himself. He'll never be able to choose if he can't compare side by side.' I smiled. 'He shouldn't grow up thinking he has two separate lives, Esti.'
There was a point in our lives when I wouldn't have dared to say anything like that. When we first moved in, the early years when everything was still new. But now I often voiced my opinions on Daniel and how I believed he should be raised, how we should reward him, how we should punish him, though the latter I was always terrible at.
'If you think it's a good idea, then I suppose we can... have everyone over.'
'I think it's less about us darling, and more about him.'
'You're right.'
'Plus... don't you think it'll be hilarious seeing Shayna talking to Audrey?'
She laughed and gave up cleaning, I beckoned her to the sofa and we didn't talk about it again until today, even though I knew she'd been worrying.
'It's not a collision of worlds, you're so dramatic.' I was laughing when I knew I shouldn't have been. She started to rub the apprehensive crease between her eyebrows.
