There it was again. That quiet, squeaky, pre-emptive chattering coming through the baby monitor. I think I'd been awake before it even started, I can't remember the last time I'd slept the night through.
'It's your turn.' Esti's fingers lightly trailed over my arm, I groaned and stretched until I felt my arms crack.
'I know. But she's not crying ye-'
Then, almost as if she'd heard me, Leah started wailing, filling the entire flat with a high, curdling cry. With an uncomplaining sigh, I flung my legs out of bed and blundered to her bedroom, rubbing my heavy eyes with the balls of my hand. There was some early morning light peeking through the blinds in the living room; I still had no idea what time it was. Leah had chosen odd times to wake recently.
'Okay, okay, okay. Beautiful girl,' my exhausted mouth slurred as I lifted her up; her soft sleepsuit was plush under my hands, and I cooed into her tiny ear as her cries smoothed out into a cranky whine. 'Beautiful girl, what's wrong?'
I continued whispering to her as I went through to the kitchen, where I warmed some milk.
'What's wrong darling?' I asked her as we waited, just like I always did, as she squirmed in my arm and let out a huffy sob. 'Are we just hungry?'
'Is she okay?' Esti appeared in the kitchen, wrapped in a robe. She took a large step over a mass of soft toys that had been strewn across the floor.
'She's hungry. As always. She's definitely got my appetite.'
Esti smiled and yawned; she took over Leah's breakfast as I took a seat at the island, which was smothered in bottles, dummies, baby creams, Daniel's toys and a mass of my work papers. 'It's 5:30, you know.' She stated, yawning again.
'Is it?' I looked up at her properly then. 'Christ, she slept the whole night?'
Esti nodded, she walked to me with slow, sleepy steps and kissed my forehead. I'd grown to adore the smell of Esti in the mornings; it was as though caring for a newborn had permanently blessed her skin with the mild aroma of baby powder and scented lotion. Raising her hand, she tenderly stroked Leah's soft, black hair.
'That's the first time she's done that.' I said. 'Why do I still feel so tired?'
'Because one night of sleeping doesn't make up for weeks of not, sweetheart.' Her lips were on me again, lightly touching my hair while I looked down at Leah.
Her little lungs had calmed now, she was looking up at us both; her eyes were a dusky brown colour; large and full of interest and curiosity. Daniel had called her 'bug eyes' several days ago.
'Don't start calling her names already, Daniel.' Esti sighed after he'd said it, while wiping his face with a napkin. 'And don't encourage him.' She'd followed up with a smile to me after I'd laughed.
'What? It's cute! You should appreciate it while it's innocent.'
'Oh,' her head lolled to one side then and she crinkled her face. 'I don't want them to grow up.'
'No,' I looked at Daniel and Leah then. 'No, I don't either.'
Daniel lost interest in the novelty of a new sister quite quickly; he grew irate with the amount she cried and the attention she demanded from Esti and I. Our devotion to him remained the same, but of course he could only see it from his five-year-old eyes.
The less Leah wailed, the more time he wanted to spend with her, naturally. A few nights ago, after they'd both had their dinners and their baths, Esti sat on the sofa holding a chirping Leah while Daniel read one of his books out loud to us all. I felt overwhelmed then. A dynamic force coursed inside me as I sat on the floor watching them. It felt like pride, like a pure, clean love swimming through my veins. Seeing the three of them, talking, mumbling, laughing, in our house, under our roof. It occurred to me I'd never had that before, that love, the feeling of just being content in each other's company, the feeling of belonging.
