I woke with a confusing start, I felt disorientated and nervous as my eyes weakly adjusted to the low light. I lifted my heavy head and perched on my elbow; it was still early, the sun was nowhere near rising. I forced my thick eyelids to rise and find the clock next to the bed; 3:09am.
I frowned and turned around, but Esti wasn't there. For a second of relief, I let my eyes close. Why did I feel sick?
Suddenly, I heard a pained gasp in the en-suite. Without thinking I blindly jumped up and ran to the bathroom, tripping over my charger and sending my phone loudly clattering across the floor.
'Esti?' I knocked frantically and pressed the handle of the locked door. 'Esti?'
I heard a gasp again, and then the lock turned. She was leaning forward, holding her stomach, her face was a picture of discomfort.
'I think we need to go to the hospital.' She said, her lips looked thinner, or were they just very pale?
'Wha- now? Now? But she's- it's not for- weeks.'
'I think she's ready now.' Esti said, shutting her eyes tightly; she seized her stomach.
'O-okay, okay. Do you need anything? What do I need to do?'
Esti gave a short laugh through her obvious pain as she crept back into the bedroom, still gripping her stomach. 'Ronit, you've been planning this for months, it's all I've heard-'
'I know!' I ran to drawers and wildly dug around. 'I know, but now it's all gone! I can't remember-' I grabbed a thick sweater and pulled it over my head. 'I can't remember anything- where's the hospital bag?'
'Sweetheart, don't panic.' Esti coughed.
'But she's early, what's- Esti, what does that mean? Is she okay? Does it feel- is it normal?' I went to her, I covered her bump with my hands. I couldn't think about anything, I wasn't even sure what jumper I'd put on.
'It can be normal, Ronit, it can be.' Esti took her hands away from her stomach for one moment so that she could hold my face. 'It's fine, she just... she probably just really wants to meet you.'
'Don't- you can't be adorable now, I need to think.' I kissed her because her words had made me melt slightly but I had to collect myself, I had to breathe. 'I'll- I'll call Dovid, we can drop Daniel there or do you want him there?'
'It's too late, I can't- it's too early for Dovid. We can take Daniel, but he won't be allowe-' A wince curbed her speech and she perched on the bed.
'Darling,' I went to her and pushed her hair back. 'Are you okay? You should have- you should have woken me, as soon as- how long have you been-'
'Not long, I promise. I was just... about to wake you when you knocked.' She groaned. 'Can you get Daniel ready? I'll- I'll get the bag.'
'Ye-yes. I'll call a taxi, now.'
'And the midwife, do you have their number?'
'Yes, I have it.' I scrambled on the floor for my phone, relieved and surprised the screen hadn't smashed in its dramatic fall.
The next few minutes were a seizure of panic, for me at least. Esti was surprisingly calm, I heard her taking deep breaths as she collected the bag I'd packed and repacked then repacked again weeks ago. I made urgent and demanding calls to the taxi company and the maternity unit, who told us to get Esti in as soon as possible. Daniel was simply excited.
'I don't have to go to school?' He asked, yawning as we got into the taxi.
'No, darling.' I said, stroking his hair while I put him on my lap and clipped the belt around us. 'Mummy's going to- you're getting your new sister today.'
