So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 6

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By the time I woke up the next morning, James was already up and showered. Moving off the bed carefully, I was happy to see that my headache was mostly gone, but my stomach was still a little queasy. A long hot shower made me feel better, but I was still moving slow as I changed and made my way to the great room. Everyone but Mel was sitting around finishing up breakfast, and they all gave me a whispered but enthusiastic greeting. I appreciated their thoughtfulness as a cup of coffee and toast were put in front of me. Nibbling at the bread, I half listened as the conversation buzzed around me.

"I almost forgot to thank my hero Leila for last night." Mike's voice cut through my cloudy brain.

All I could do was look at him in confusion, and he smiled wide at my lighting quick memory.

"Last night, you jumped in to try an' save me when that asshole was tryin' to pick a fight."

"Oh that," I muttered, my voice scratchy. "I think I mighta just made it worse though."

"Nah, that guy was itchin' for a fight no matter what. I'm just glad I got to witness that right hook to his face. Nice goin' James."

Jamie just grunted from where he was taking a long sip of OJ. His eyes did flicker over to me for a moment, and I was left to wonder about the look in his eyes.

"So what about yer bartender buddy from last night?" Hugh was grinning at me. "Is he the 'Mr. Right' you were lookin' for? He seemed pretty into ya."

I could feel James' eyes on me again, and I wondered if he was still disappointed in my behavior the previous night.

"He was nice enough." I shrugged. "Not the right guy though."

I stared down at my plate, afraid that Jamie would read the truth in my eyes. Talk continued to swirl around me as I sipped at my coffee and barely touched the toast.

The guys wanted to head farther south to check out some good surfing locations, but I opted to stay at the house with Mel, who was in worse condition than me. It was actually nice to have a few quiet hours without the boys around. Eventually though, I needed to get out and stretch my legs, so I took a long walk down the beach, the ocean breeze dispelling any lingering effects from the night before. If only it could do as good a job with the rest of me. Alone like this was when I started thinking too hard about things I didn't want to deal with but couldn't ignore for long. Usually that was Jamie, or rather, how do I get over Jamie, or lately, how do I let go of Jamie. Today though I had a new question. Over the last few days, there had been a few moments where for the first time, I began to wonder if it was possible that there was a tiny chance that Jamie might be attracted to me. We were always connected, but now there was some undercurrent that I hadn't noticed before. Was it sexual tension? Was he feeling it too? I decided to pay closer attention over the next few days to see if my suspicions had any merit. The one thing I couldn't do though was allow myself to hope. It would be that much more devastating when I came to the conclusion that my suspicions were merely wishful thinking on my part.

~

An hour later and I was almost back to the house, when I saw a familiar lanky figure walking towards me on the shoreline. He jogged up the last 50 feet, grinning at me like an overgrown kid.

"Did you have fun?" I asked, smiling up at him. "Catch any waves?"

"Eh, I caught a few but I'm not as good a surfer as Jim and Hugh. Watchin' Lars try surfin' was pretty fuckin' entertaining though."