So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 10

Ever since Jamie's mom died, we had a tradition where he'd come to my house the morning of his birthday and start the day with a celebratory family breakfast. I knew that he secretly liked feeling part of a cohesive family again, and we always tried to make it special for him. Stretching my way out of bed, I looked at the clock and knew there was a very slim chance that he'd be up and functioning any time soon, especially after how he'd tied one on the night before. I felt myself flush with embarrassment remembering my idiotic attempt to make him jealous. What a joke. It had been a complete and total failure, and all it had done was reinforce what I knew but hadn't wanted to accept.

"No fuckin' cryin' today Leila and no mopin' either," I scolded myself out loud, trying to keep my emotions in check. "You'll have plenty of time for that later when yer tryin' to figure out how to put yer life back together. Today is about Jamie...and it might be the last birthday you'll spend with him for a while."

With that sobering thought, I dragged myself off to the shower and got dressed in shorts and a cute tank top before packing an overnight bag. I didn't know what he wanted to do, but I figured I'd bring some extra clothes along so I'd be ready for anything. Heading downstairs, I said hi to the family before raiding the fridge for breakfast makings, and then loaded everything into my car and headed over to Ron and James' place.

Sure enough, there was no response to my knocks on the door. Using the extra key kept hidden outside, I let myself into the house and dumped off the food items before making my way to Jamie's room. The curtains were closed, but in the dim light I could make out the lump that was my best friend. Deciding against my first impulse, which was to yank the curtains open and jump on the bed, I put down my overnight bag and quietly crawled up on the bed next to him. His face was smooshed into the pillow as he lay sprawled on his stomach, and I very lightly stroked a few strands of hair out of his face, squashing the desire to kiss him awake. The soft touch was enough to alert him to my presence, and one eyeball opened blurrily as he began to stir.

"Leila?" he croaked, and I winced at the sound.

Laying on my side, I brought my face down at level with his, almost passing out from the residual smell of vodka. 

"Hi," I whispered, giving him a small smile.

"Hi," he whispered back, his answering smile quickly turning into a grimace.

Gently, I swept a few more strands from his eyes.

"I imagine you don't feel so good huh?"

"Probably about as good as I look."

"Wow, you must feel like total shit then," I teased.

"Nice, kick a guy when he's down," he grumbled, but I could see a hint of a smile.

"Sorry." My tone made it clear I wasn't. "Would it make you feel better if I told you I was here to make you breakfast?"

"It might." He pouted playfully as he turned over on his back and stretched, his bare chest coming into view as the blanket slipped.

Feeling my fingers itch to touch him, I sat up abruptly and looked down at my hands, willing them to stop wanting the impossible.

"Hey, what is it?" He sat up too and then took a whiff of his underarms. "Do I smell that bad?"

"You do reek." I nodded, waving a hand in front of my face. "But you get a free pass today."

"Oh yeah, why's that?" he asked, his eyes alight with humor.

Like he didn't know. I figured I'd play along.

"No reason."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe today's special."