So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 21

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1984

In January, after touring the East Coast where I joined them for the holidays, the band headed even farther east for Metallica's first European tour and the recording of their second album in Copenhagen. Two and a half months went by, and since international phone calls were so expensive, we were only able to talk a couple times a week. I was miserable. So was Jamie.

Finally hitting my breaking point, I decided to surprise James and join him on tour for a few days, flying into London on a late afternoon in March. I'd contacted the tour management to let them know I was coming, and they'd arranged for a car to pick me up and bring me directly to the venue. Leaving my suitcase in their dressing room, I wandered around until I spied a line of fans waiting patiently for what I assumed was an autograph signing, something the boys often did before or after a show. Deciding to be sneaky, I joined the line to surprise James in a way he'd least suspect.

"Which one?" an American accented voice asked from behind me.

I'd been daydreaming and didn't realize a girl around my age had gotten in line just after me. She wore a Metallica shirt that was two sizes too small and heavy make-up.

"Which one?" she prompted me again. "Which one do you wanna bang?"

"Excuse me?" I was stunned and slightly disturbed by the question.

"They're all pretty fuckable if you ask me," she continued, ignoring my question. "Rough and a little dirty...yum."

Her summation of the band made me feel slightly ill.

"They're really talented musicians," I pointed out, turning around to face her. "And their music kicks ass."

"Yeah, but still, I'd fuck any one of them in a heartbeat if I could. What about you though?" She looked me up and down. "Shit, with yer face and bod, you could have yer pick of any of them, so which one would ya do?"

The conversation was making me extremely uncomfortable, but I knew she'd persist if I didn't answer. Honesty seemed the best bet.

"I'd have to go with Jamie...I mean...James."

"Oh fuck yeah, that is one fine, fine piece of ass. I'd let him use me any way he wanted."

The girl stared off dreamily, imagining having sex with my boyfriend I had no doubt. Now I was going from uncomfortable to pissed.

She didn't seem to notice though as she continued talking. "Yeah well, unfortunately you and I will just have to keep on fantasizin' about that one."

"Why is that?"

"Cuz, all us female fans know that James ain't interested. He doesn't look and he doesn't touch."

"Is he gay?" It was hard to keep a straight face.

"Oh hell no! Almost just as much of a waste though." The girl leaned in closer. "Rumor is that he has a girlfriend."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, some lucky bitch he's known for a long time. I dunno how she got her hooks into him, but he won't cheat on her."

"And you know this how?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

"Ya get to know people. There ain't as many female metal fans, so you tend to run into the same girls." She paused and I unconsciously leaned in closer. "Trust me when I say, these girls have tried every trick in the book, but not a single one has ever been successful, he's completely devoted to this chick. I don't get it."