So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 27

Morning came too quickly. Though considering we'd spent much of the night making love, it wasn't surprising that we were both tired when the front desk rang us for our 8am wake-up call. Thank god we had the foresight to ask for an alarm or else the tour bus would have left without us. As it was, we were the last on the bus and the boys and crew heckled us good-naturedly as we stumbled on blurry eyed. James wasn't in the mood apparently and flipped them off grumpily before stretching out on one of the sofas up front, making room for me to lay beside him. I laid down and was immediately engulfed in his long arms and legs, my head tucked under his chin; we were asleep in seconds.

I don't know how long I was out for, but I could tell it was long enough to at least take the edge off my tiredness as I slowly opened my eyes. Jamie was already awake and watching me. His eyes were sad again and it was unsettling to wake up to.

"Hey." His voice was scratchy and I assumed it was from fatigue.

"Hey to you too." I smiled wide, hoping to banish his mood. "You were watchin' me again." My eyes dimmed for a moment. "Are you makin' mental snapshots for when we're apart?"

Though his eyes darkened with pain, he gave a small smile at my words. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doin'. So later, when I'm missin' you so damn much I wanna break shit, I'll close my eyes and remember you sleepin' in my arms like this."

"And then you'll still break shit," I added cheekily.

He let out a spontaneous laugh and hugged me closer. "Fuck Lei, what am I gonna do without you? How am I gonna stay sane baby?"

His voice had a note of desperation to it which I found odd, but I couldn't see his face since I was pressed against his chest. I lay there quietly for a few minutes, the sound of his heart beating against my ear. It was a sound I was all too familiar with, all the times he'd held me against him, it was as comforting too me as his touch and voice. I was certain if our two heartbeats were to be amplified, you wouldn't be able to tell one from the other.

"Don't be sad Jamie. We'll be back together in a little over a month when you come to San Francisco, and we'll plan as many of these get-togethers as we can. It's hard, but we'll make it through this."

I felt him kiss my forehead as he held me close. Surprisingly, rather than get up and make our way to the back with the rest of the guys, James kept me wrapped up tight in his arms, where we lay in silence for the rest of the ride.

We arrived in Uniondale, NY around noon, and the bus dropped off the crew at the Nassau Veteran's Memorial Coliseum, where they were to help set-up for that night's show, and then continued on to the Marriott just across the parking lot from the venue to drop off the band and me. The boys were expected to do a quick sound check in a couple hours, so we had some time to ourselves, or so we thought. Just as we grabbed our keys from the front desk, Joe and most of the Old Bridge Militia arrived, and the lobby quickly turned into a noisy free for all as we all hugged and greeted each other warmly. Though I'd wanted to have some alone time with my boy, it was great to see everyone, and instead of heading up to our rooms, we took over the attached cocktail lounge that had barely opened its doors for the day. Metal Maria had come too, so while all the guys started ordering rounds of beers, she and I found a cozy spot to catch up. Turns out she was halfway through her first year of law school and dating another student.

"Glad you didn't mope after Cliff," I teased her gently.

"Oh please," she scoffed, going into her tough girl mode. "I knew that was just for kicks, didn't mean anything." I raised my eyebrow skeptically and her cheeks flushed red. "Yeah ok, maybe I liked him a little more than that. And I definitely miss his big di—"