So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 9

The summer was passing quickly, and I guess I shouldn't have been surprised considering how much I'd managed to pack in. As expected, Jamie and I tried to make up for lost time by hanging out as much as possible. I went to all of his shows and the demo recording, while he came with me on a couple more open mics. We went to hear live music, threw more than a few parties at his place, and spent many nights in the park on the hood of his car staring at the sky and talking.

Melissa, Kelly and I also spent a lot of time together and as a group with James, Ron and Jim. If Jamie felt awkward about hanging out with couples while we clearly were not, he didn't show it, and I tried not to feel jealous at the sweet displays of affection between Mel and Jim, or the fun flirtatiousness as Ron and Kelly became closer. Jamie was immune to all the rampant romance, instead he'd roll his eyes at me in jest when anyone got lovey-dovey. I'd just match his attitude and pretend that I didn't wish he'd fucking catch a clue.

He didn't know any of this though as I sat next to him as he drove us in my car to their second show at The Troubadour. Looking over at him now, I was surprised to see that he was shooting me a sideways look, his brow furrowed in concern.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice rough. "You seem sad. Did something happen?"

Sometimes I hated that he knew me so well.

"I...I just realized its August and I have to go back to school at the end of the month."

James' lips twisted into a scowl. "Fuck, I'd almost forgotten. Actually, I was just tryin' to ignore it." He looked back over at me with a hangdog expression. "Shit, now I'm bummed."

He looked so miserable, that I unintentionally laughed.

"Seriously, now yer laughin' at me?!" he asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, you know I have terrible timing when I get the giggles. I'm not makin' fun of you Jamie, I'm really not."

He gave me a raised eyebrow but then his lips spread into a slow rueful smile. "One of the things I like best about you Lei, is you never really act like a girl."

"Umm...thanks?" I said sarcastically.

"Nah seriously, I mean that in a good way. You don't get all dramatic about stupid shit, or act like an idiot over romantic stuff like other girls do. I could never hold a real conversation with a girl and not wanna blow my brains out."

"I think there was a compliment in there somewhere."

"It was!"

"So I should feel honored then that you don't wanna blow yer brains out?"

I gave him a sideways smile and he grinned back at me. "Hell yeah."

"Wow, the list of compliments from you is gettin' lengthy Jamie. Now I can add one more to the...how many are there...oh yes...to the one other compliment I got from you back when we were fifteen."

"Hey, I think I gave you one when we were in Mexico."

"OK, fine. Three whole compliments!"

"Well, I don't wanna be responsible for givin' ya a fat head."

He gave me a smug smile and I burst out laughing. He started laughing too, and we finished out the rest of the drive giving each other nonsensical compliments.

When we arrived, the rest of the guys, and also Hugh, had already unloaded all the equipment and were hanging at the bar waiting for the band's set later in the evening. Ron, Hugh and Lars each gave me a friendly hug, and even Dave had recently toned down on the aggressive flirting towards me, though it didn't stop him from eyeballing me from head to toe, taking in my Kelly approved outfit of skintight ripped jeans and fitted low cut Metallica t-shirt. I ignored him as I sat down on the bar stool that Ron kindly offered me as Jamie ordered a couple beers. He handed me one and took a long swallow from his, starting his pre-show regime of beers and shots. Even though it bothered me that he felt that he had to get himself buzzed to go on stage, I also completely understood how standing in front of a room full of strangers and putting himself and his music out there for their judgement, went against every one of his introvert instincts. For that, I cut him slack and kept my own drinking limited, knowing someone had to be sober enough to get us back home safe.