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' You don't understand the pain that I have to grow threw everyday, nobody does ! '
* * * * -
Los Angeles, California
💫 Journey 💫
The airplane ride was fine, getting off the plane was relieving, and the Uber ride was. Stressful, I was feeling nervous and self-conscious about whether, if they didn't want me here or they didn't even love, or that I should not be here with them.
I didn't wanna think of that. I wanted them to like me, but it's hard to like someone who's lost their whole personality five years ago.
I was daydreaming out of the window the beam of the sun on my face, and me just looking down at my cuts on my arm, covering them up with the sleeve of my hoodie.
The Uber stopped at a house and I just stared at it feeling nervous as ever in my life. I then got out of the car, getting my bag and closing the car door.
I walked up to the front door knocking on it three times, seeing someone open it, was my grandma Linda. " It's so nice to meet you honey, we were happy that you came. "
I gave a her a small smile. " It's nice meeting you too, I just wish that I could remember, but I don't. I'm sorry. "
" It's ok sweetheart, it's always like that, but I wanted to have you down here with family. " Grandma Linda said letting inside the house.
I put down my bag as we were walking into the kitchen seeing her niece Zoë giving me a hug that I was very alarmed by, but it felt nice to know that I was loved from both of them. " It's nice having my cousin here, it's boring here. "
" The same to you too, so where do I sleep ? " I asked Zoë. I knew that my arm was being pulled upstairs and into my new room.
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I got settled into my new room and the just feeling overwhelmed about everything, I went through my bag pulling out a small razor and just put it against my arm, I slit my arm hissing to the pain and seeing the drops of blood on my arm.
I knew this wasn't something that I should be doing, but this was the only way to make me feel calm about myself and... I don't really know now what to do with my life.
