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' I'm slipping away from life. '
* * * * -
💫 Journey 💫
Mind, filled with emptiness and lost, filling my brain with dullness and illusions of days that ruined my life for me.
My family, my home, my friends, and worst of all... myself. I've got nothing else besides the food in my stomach and the clothes and hair on my body.
I lost myself in my head replaying my parents death in my head over, over again and it would never stop doing this.
I try to escape it, but it won't stop and I can't even stop it in my head. I sat down on my bed and got my razor and held it against my knuckles, singing to myself.
Hate to see you like a monster So I run and hide Hate to ask but what's it like to leave me behind
Little marks of blood on my hand and knuckles with the words of guilt and anxiety running through my veins.
I hear someone knocking on my door and I instantly put away the blade and cleaned up the blood from my hand and put band-aids on the cuts.
I opened the door to see Zoë with a pizza and cookie dough ice cream. " Your favorite cousin brought food. " She said.
I laughed a little and let her into my room sitting on my bed with my favorite pizza, pepperoni and it looked so good.
We sat their in my bed eating the pizza and ice cream while watching To all the boy's I've loved before.
" So, Journey are you going to say anything about LaMelo or should I say something about him for you ? " She said staring at me, like I'm supposed to say something about him. " Umm, nothing about him is interesting so next topic. "
" Really, Journey, how can you turn him down. He's the most popular boy in the school... how could you not ? " She asked me.
" Zoë, I'm not trying to deal with boy's... they're overrated sometime. "
" Well, he's not. "
How many time Zoë will bring LaMelo up so many times, I will not be with him in any way possible.
Not in my life time will I ever be in a relationship again.
