Only You

Cash P.O.V

I wake up to The sound of my phone going off.

"Hello?" I answer, my eyes still closed

"Come into the studio" Ricky says and hangs up.

I throw my phone on my floor and groan.
I see a missed call from Riley but ignore it. I'm mad at myself, I'm mad at her for being her. I'm mad at her for loving me, for wanting me, for controlling me and holding me down. I'm mad at her not trusting me, I mean I know I don't give her many reasons to but come on. Give me a break. I'm mad at her for not letting me speak. I'm mad at her for doubting me.
I'm mad at her caring about me...but she does it because she loves me.

Even worse, I'm more mad at myself cause I don't deserve her. I'm not good enough for her-I never was. She's the love of my life though and I can't do this without her. I go crazy and go to a dark place when she's not around. I love her so damn much that I don't know what to do about it.. so I push her away and get scared.

I finally get up and head into my bathroom to take a shower. I turn the hot water on start the shower. I wash off the sweat and booze and ty to freshen myself up. I need to call Riley and make sure she's okay, she didn't say a word to me last night and she looked disappointed at me.. I don't blame her. I can't forgive myself for doing the things I do. I can't forgive myself for cheating on her. Oh god, why did I cheat on her?
I get the conditioner out of my hair and turn off the water and get out and walk around in my towel for a bit. I walk into my kitchen and put a Kcup into my Keurig.

I go into my room and sit on my bed grabbing my phone and dial Riley's number. It goes straight to voicemail. "Fuck" I try again and she answers.

"Cash leave her alone" Audrey answers

"Audrey, put Riley on the phone please?" I say softly

"Why would I do that?" She says with a snobby attitude, I bite my tongue so I don't go off.

"Audrey can you just put her on, I need to talk to her" I say in a stern voice.

"Jesus fine"

I sigh in relief as she gets Riley on the phone.
I hear Riley's breath on the line before she even says hello.

"Riley, are you okay?" I ask

She scoffs and laughs. " Cash I'm fine"
I roll my eyes knowing she isn't and bite my nails.

"Riley I'm sorry about the other night I... can we please talk or can you come over—" she cuts me off

"How about you go back to slugging it up with these bad bitches around you hm?" She sounds pissed off and upset. I don't know what to say honestly so I stay quiet.

"Cash you're not good for me.. I think we should just end...whatever this is. You're never here... you're like... I can't do this Cash. I'm done. For good. Please just leave me alone and good luck on your tour" she says, her voice shaking and I can clearly tell she's gonna lose it. I feel my throat burn from tears and screams I wanna let out but I hold it together.

"You'll never change.. and I can't change you Cash. You don't love me, you don't love yourself. You don't even care..." she says, I hear her sob softly and it breaks my heart. I fight back my tears more... I wanna hold her and tell her I do love her, that I love her so much it literally hurts me. I wanna tell her I need her and that she's my world. But I can't so  I look down at the floor.

"Riley please..." I manage to spit out. She sniffles and laughs again, I close my eyes and bite my lip.

"Oh my god.. you're unbelievable" she says her voice shaking but she busts out laughing hysterically and calms herself.
"Cash.. don't call me again" she hangs up.

"Fuck!" I yell as I throw my phone at the wall, surprised it didn't break. I get off my bed and start getting dressed. I throw my chucks on and grab my keys.

I head in the kitchen and put my coffee in a to-go mug and lock up my suite.
I head out the building and into my car, slamming my car door when I sit in my driver seat. I groan and curse under my breath.
Can this day get any worse?