Cash

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I drive home and storm into my house.
I'm more and at me than Riley. I'm not even mad at her! I'm mad at myself for hooking up with Amber again. But I couldn't stop myself.
We have that sexual history and she's a freak honestly. But it was so wrong and I feel disgusting. I decide to take shower after thinking of it. I hope Riley is okay, I should've stayed since she was tripping on lsd. She never does drugs. But at the party she did. I'm not mad at her for that, I'm mad at her for... for being her. I hate that I love her and want her. I hate that I'm not good enough for her. I hate that she's perfect and I'm just me. I should've never done what I did to her. Let things get to a level it shouldn't have gotten to. I Am So Stupid.

I step out the shower and put boxers on. I hop into bed and go to sleep. I think I should just stay away from Riley. She should stay away from me too. This is so bad. It's wrong! I close my eyes and fall asleep.
When I wake up in the morning I feel more pissed than I did last night. Fuck. I can't shake Riley off my mind and I do hope she's okay.
I know I said I should stay away from her but I don't want to, if I do it's going to be hard. She's my best friend so how could I not talk to her?
I pick up my phone and call her.

"Hello?"
"Hey"
"Thought you were mad at me"
"I'm not"
"Well that's not how it felt last night"
"Riley I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself.."
"Why?"
"I just am.."
"Why?"
"Don't worry about it"
"Seriously?"
"Riley stop"
"Well, what do you want?"
"Nothing I just wanted to make sure you're okay"
"I'm fine."
"Okay"
"I gotta go"
"Please don't"
"Bye Cash"
She hangs up.

I put my phone down and sigh getting up.
I get dressed and grab my phone and car keys and decide to go to Slims house. I get into my car and drive off blaring loud rap music on the stereo. I drive last Riley's house and I wanna stop and see her but her car isn't there so I keep on driving. I park outside Slims and knock on the door. He opens it letting me in.
"Sup bro" he says and I sit on the couch
"Bored as fuck" I say rubbing my forehead
"You good? I saw you leave the party with Riley looking mad" He asks, I sigh
"Yeah.. she. Well honestly I ain't mad a her. I'm mad at me" I say, he starts rolling up a joint
"What'd you do?" He asks me and I sit up
"Well for one I hooked up with Amber at that stupid party. Not mention fooled around with Riley, I didn't fuck her but I did other things to her.. I just.. I keep fucking up" I shake my head
"What you tryna do Cash?" He says passing me the joint. I take a big hit from it.
"I love Riley." I say serious
"Tell her." he says taking a hit, I look at him crazy. He shrugs at me.
"She's your best friend. My friend too. But Cash it's obvious she loves you and everyone knows it. So I'd say tell her" he adds. I smoke
"I don't know" I bite my nails
"Your loss if you don't" he shrugs
"I'll think of something okay? She's mad at me right now so.." I frown slightly
"Well get your mind off of it for now. Chill here for a bit and let her chill out" He suggests.

I stay at Slims for a few hours getting high and playing video games. I finally leave around 8pm and I leave. I drive past Riley's again and see her car back and her moms gone. Fuck it. I'm doing it. It's now or never. I park my car on the street and run up to her house knocking on the door. She opens and looks at me confused
"What are you-" I cute her off and kiss her she immediately kisses me back I close the door behind me. We stand there making out heavily and she stops letting me go.
"Cash.."
"Riley I can't lie anymore" I say feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I know she's the same way right now. She looks up at me.
"I love you." I say meaning it.
"Cash, do you mean it?" she asks softly
"Yes" I cup her face looking into her eyes
"I love you" I add
"I love you too" she says.
"I want you, I want you to be mine" I say softly
"Then just tell me what you need" she says
"Be my girlfriend. Love me forever and don't stop, that what I need. I need you." I say
"Then I'm yours."

*end of flash back chapter. as promised i will do more flashbacks popping up in the book but i have some ideas for Riley's P.O.V coming up so expect some drama. i hope you liked it- i know it was short but it's worth it :) *

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