1. 2. 3.
We bonded over youtubers first. On bus rides in the morning mostly. I remember sitting on the right with my elbow over the set, trying to grasp conversation. It was sarcastic. I seen it as sarcastic, you were sarcastic. But, I liked sarcastic, so I tried. I didn't want the conversation to end. I recall trying to watch the two so I could start a conversation. I never did, and I think the conversations always fell shallow. Then we moved to " Rewind." You were always excited when they had a part in it, and I was happy that Oakley had a part. I didn't know the Youtube scene until I started talking to you. After those small conversations, what I thought was a temporary relationship that had shallow sand, I ended up drowing. But when I came to the surface, you were reading fan fictions. I don't know how we got there, nor what I did. I think when I found wallflower a seed was planted. It went from reading wallflower to reading fan fictions to writing. Never did I think writing could be expressive as it is. Up until you, I always saw it as educational. I mean I always liked poetry, but I never actively wrote anything. Then I wrote my first story, and it was awful. But, my only goal was to write something that you'd like. I always wanted to make something that you'd enjoy reading. So I always pulled these stories out. There was always a little jealousy in those days because you always had the more votes, but as long as you liked it I was fine. From there where did we go? The next thing I remember is equality. You are morally strong and mentally strong. Something I wasn't aware of at the time. You would talk of equality and rights and I would agree as if I was knowing what you were talking about, but I didn't. I, myself, was very ignorant. I would learn as you spoke and then sneer at that situations that would materialize from the words you said the day before. Because as you spoke, I would take it in and learn things for myself. I would learn who I am as a person and what I believe in. You taught me what it means to be good. Then we would talk. We would have good conversations, actual conversations. Something I never had with my school peers, and didn't want to. I looked forward to sitting with or across from you to talk., to hold conversation. Then you wrote 3 lines on your thumb. And you message was heard. It makes me happy that you feel represented, I don't know if represented is the word. I think acknowledged is better. You weren't the only one who thought this way, and that album solidified it. Then, came the music. Your taste in music shaped and continues to shape mine. I showed you, I think I did, Syre, and before then I didn't feel it. But, your love for it made me love it more. You shape my opinion. It's seeing it from the otherside; it's seeing the good in it. And, then I loved it. That's not the first time either. It went to Caesar to La La Land to Angie to SZA. Most importantly SZA. She is what started this. It took me watching and feeling her concert live to step back and think," If it wasn't for you, I would have never givenher a chance." Your undying admiration and love entangled me. I remember saying that I wouldn't like her no matter how much you sang her. Then Gina was stuck in my head, soon the rest followed, and we both had this undying love and admiration for this single woman. So that's why I said I'm taking you to her concert. Because it's the best way to show my admiration for you. You have given me so much and taugh me so much, and I don't think I have done the same. You are sweet. Strong. And you need to know it. You are a rolemodel, a supermodel, and my sister.
So thank you.
Really.
DATE : 11 : 26 : 18 : 9 : 43 P<
