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DATE : 12 : 22 : 18 : 11 : 11 PM
Here is everything I haven't written about because you want me to.
This may be vain, but it's what I'm proud of. I'm going to hit 3000 dollars in my bank account, it will be around 3200-ish, but that isn't important.
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I've been listening to Oliver Tree and Christian Leave, but just to busy to actually listen.
Let me tell you, I wasn't expecting to work this much since break.
Break was good to me though, I spent the entire day with my calc teacher, embroidering at his desk, then I called my Lit teacher to tell her I wouldn't be in class and she wished me " Merry Christmas."
I wasn't expecting that and it brought me so much joy to the point where it made me call her back and tell her I appreciate her and her class.
She said that made her day.
What a woman.
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I want to fall in love abroad. I think that would be life-changing. I want it to be one of the relationships where the other always has to translate to the other. That would be tender. That would make me feel precious. I want to feel precious.
I think that my life's perspective will change once I finally fall in love.
And I guess it would be weird since I've spent years of my life writing about in as if I have experienced it, then to one day finally experience it. Imagine a world like that.
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I can't wait to buy a new phone in the future. I'm tired of viewing instagram, I want to create my aesthetic. I want to blossom. I'm ready for it; I deseve it.
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My christmas presents are half-way done. I've only got the speical ones to do, but I haven't been able to do them due to work, but it's fine. The meaning is still there if it's late. One thing that makes me happy is that my good friend is getting me a book of queer art photography. It is overwhelming how happy this makes me feel. If only you could know.
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This year is actually over, I don't know if I should create a resolution or not. I have one in mind, but I don't know if I can keep to it.
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One thing I think I've come to realize is that I think I'm ion love with Freddie Mercury. I thought it would just be a phase like the majority of my motivation is, but this one isn't. He motivates me like few artist do. I find myself wanting to be like him. I want people to say he is the modern day mercury. The mercury of the art scene.
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Moon that shines bright as the day
Remember the times I was proud to be gay
Shake me from my slumber
Keep me from going under
Moonlight don't let me fight
the son who lives in blight
Waxing crescent wane on my sun
Control the pain that flows to my gun
Lunar loner don't get over
the bridges we burn under the covers.
Wake me from the days that we
agree to die within the rain we
say that nothing is ever the same we
promise each other we won't change we
still forget where we came we
don't know where to go from here so we
ask the moon to shine as bright the day
So we remember what it was like to be proud to be gay.
